HE 

HINESE LANTERN 



PR 4809 
.H18 C4 
1908 
Copy 1 



A PLAY 
N THREE ACTS 



r.v 



URENCE HOUSMAN 



NEW YORK 
RENTANO'S 

1908 



THE 

CHINESE LANTERN 

A PLAY 
IN THREE ACTS 



BY 

LAURENCE HOUS.MAN 



NEW YORK 
BRENTANO'S 

1908 



t 



<--' 






JUN 16 iyo8 

CLASS Ji XXCi Wu, 



^.opvrMhti 1908^ by Brentano's 



m^^^^^ 
f'^' 



DRAMATIS PERSONS 



Students, Apprentices, and Craftsmen 



Olangtsi Master of Arts 

Mrs. Olangtsi (called Mrs. Back-of-de-House) . His Wife 
YUNGLANGTSI His Son 

1. Pee-Ah-Bee 1 

2. Han-Kin 

3. Tee-Pee 

4. HiTI-TlTI 

5. New-Lyn 

6. Nau-Tee 

7. Ll-LONG 
Josi Mosi ... A Chinese Jew Rag and Bone Merchant 

Cosi Mosi His Brother, a Money-lender 

TiKiPU Bottle-washer and General Drudge 

Meemee A Korean Slave-girl 

WiowANi An Old Master 



Street-criers, Bearers, Townsfolk, etc. 



ACT I 

Scene : A. Chinese Studio with windowed walls of 
woodwork and oil paper. At back of center 
a dais, and behind that a picture showing an 
interior opening into a garden. In the fore- 
ground of the picture appears a hanging lan- 
tern, and below it a mandolin and a jar hold- 
ing a spray of plum blossom. To the right 
of the stage a sliding door opens into street; 
to left of dais stairs lead upward to inte- 
rior, forward of that a door also to interior. 
It is morning; six or seven students squat 
painting. Between every two of them a small 
stand for paint pots, brushes, etc. All are very 
lazy and desidtory at their work; the only in- 
dustrious one is Tikipu, who in shabby menial 
attire grinds colors with weary persistence. 
The students yawn, stretch, and whine, and 
only resume work in a perf^inctory way at in- 
tervals upon shop signs, lanterns, etc. On the 
dats sits YuNGLANGTSi, a mountain of indo- 
lent fat; sunk in profound reverie or slumber, 
he squats before his easel. Street criers are 
heard without calling their wares. 

1st Crier, Only ten sen! Only ten sen! Any 
buy? 

2d Crier, Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-eh ! 



2 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

1st Crier {nearer). Only ten sen! Any buy? 

Hiti, The next person who asks me if Fll buy 
— ril murder! 

1st Crier {intruding head). Any buy? 

Hiti. Get out — Mosquito ! . . . Oh, Tikipu, you 
stagnant fool, do keep them out! 

[Tikipu goes to shut door, 

Nantee, If honorable Shivering-fit has that door 
shut, long-suffering Foresight will go mad. 

Hiti. Judging from its present whereabouts, 
Foresight will not have to go far. 

Naut. Oh, brilliant, scintillating wit! What 
repartee ! 

Hank. Oh, firebrands of genius, don^t make it 
any hotter than it is! 

1st Crier, Only ten sen! Any buy? 

[Hiti gives long-drawn exasperated sigh; 
4th Sttident pats his back soothingly, 

Teep, There, there, Hiti, cheer up ! It will soon 
be over. The Feast of Lanterns begins at noon. 
Then, on the auspicious stroke, we shut up shop. 
Mr. Yunglangtsi, how does your august Serenity 
bear the inconsiderateness of this piffling heat? 

Lilong, Hush! Don't speak to him! He's in- 
spired ! 

Teep, I see, as usual! This inspiration is be- 
coming permanent! 

Lilong, It is the incubation of the Event, 
Teepee ! 

Hiti, Trust what the starry oracles foretell : 

Wait till the chicken taps upon the shell. 
\^He taps YuNGLANGTSi's head with his 
fan, Yunglangtsi snores softly. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 3 

Naiit. Oh, starry oracles! Did you hear that? 

[YuNGLANGTSi SHorcs again, 

Nezv, Ugh! When are the sanguinary Event 
and the starry oracle going to pay us our back 
wages? — that's what I want to know. 

Hiti, Look not to Heaven to make or mar 
Your fortunes, ye that toil! 
Who hung his pot upon a star. 
His broth forgot to boil. 

[He gets up and begins to roam round. 

Naut. Oh, poetry! 

Nezv. Ah! It's all very well for fancy-price 
first-footers like you to talk! You think it's all a 
subliminal joke. Still balancing yourselves on the 
giddy curriculum, you are; so fed up with the fat 
of your own fancies that you haven't found out 
what a tip-top, ship-shape take-in you've tum- 
bled to! 

[Hiti leans over and fans him soothingly. 

New. Ah! To you it's only a joke! But 
when's the value of our antediluvian premiums 
coming back to us? . . . What are we doing here 
now? Stuffing up our ears with stale old lectures 
we all know by heart! Just because you've come 
in on the giddy make-believe? Talk of the Event! 
Here, you hippopotamus, take that! 

[^Slaps YuNGLANGTSi on the hack. 

Teep. Really! You might have woken him. 

New. That woidd be an Event, that would! 

Han. Well, anyhow, the Event won't pay us — 
Starvation-point nought-nought-recurring — can't 
afford to wait for it. 



4 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Hiti. What groveling curiosity can't make out 
is why they should be marrying him to her. 

Han. Why not? 

Hiti Consider what she was — a little Korean 
slave girl who couldn't even speak the language! 
And what is she now? — future bride of the incom- 
parable Mr. Yunglangtsi, who sits there awaiting 
the fulfilment of his starry destiny — the oracle 
which announces that he is to become the greatest 
of living artists. 

Lilong. Ugh! Olangtsi will have to be dead 
by then. 

Hiti. Oh, no! Tiring of his exalted capacities, 
he will hand them on to Yunglangtsi. It will be 
the occasion for a fresh lecture, as thus : " Gentle- 
men-pupils, apprentices, and paid workmen . . ." 

Nezv. [77ipaid workmen, you mean. 

Hiti, Sh ! *' Your immediate and polite atten- 
tion — " (At the word '' attention " you will lay 
down your brushes, fold your hands submissively, 
and wait.) " In the instruction which it has been 
my honorable privilege to bestow all these years on 
your stubbornly benighted intelligence — " (At 
these words you bow your heads) {hits fellow- 
student over head with a mahl stick) as an ac- 
knowledgment of what unprofitable stick-in-the- 
muds you all are) . . . '' I have endeavored to set 
before you the traditions of Wiowani, the greatest 
of all the ancient Masters, whose only surviving 
representative and follower I am" (at the word 
'^ am " the complete Kow-tow is necessary) — '' and 
whose last and greatest masterpiece, entitled * The 
Threshold of the Muses,' here hangs before you for 
your instruction." (At these words you all turn 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 5 

and look at the great masterpiece as though you 
had never seen it before.) 

[General derisive applause, Hiti^ in hit- 
ting at Nautee, knocks over paint 
pot. 
Naut, There, that was your fault! 
Hiti. And your paint pot. 

Naut. Pah! Here, swab, come and mop this 
foolish mess up! 

[TiKiPU goes. 
New, What meek interrogation wants to know 
is, when are we going to strike for our pay? 

Teep, To-day, if we could catch him. He al- 
ways keeps an honorable alibi when Mrs. Back-of- 
the-house is out. 

Lilong, Oh, I wish you wouldn't go putting 
your blue brush into my red, you purple idiot! 
Teep, {to TiKiPu). There, clumsy, clumsy. 

[TiKipu stumbles. 
New, Don't spread yourself over me, you larded 
swine ! 

Naut, Get out. Goose-fat! 

Students, Mangle him! Crimp him! Dibble 
his ribs! 

Hank. Oh, empty him away somewhere ! Empty 
him away! 

[They all beat and pelt Tikipu back to 
his corner with pellets of bread, balls 
of paper, mahl sticks, etc. One throws 
another's shoe at him. Tikipu re- 
turns to his grinding stool with meek, 
dogged indifference, and resumes his 
work. Enter behind, meanwhile, 
Meemee^ carrying a water lily on a 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 




stand, zvhich, zvith obeisance, she sets 
on the dais in front of Yunglangtsi. 
She is retiring again zvhen one of the 
students catches sight of her, 
Teep. Oh, Meemee! 

[^Beckons to her. 
Mee. {turning with a curtsey). Ah! — say? 
Teep and Lilong. Come and sing to us ! Bring 
us some tea! 

Mee. Plesently : my merciful and mighty mis- 
tless, hon'ble Mrs. Back-of-de-house, not gone out 
yet! 

Students. Oh! 

[^Exit Meemee. 

Pee-Bee (zi'ho has not spoken before). H'm! 

You all thought she'd gone; I didn't. Tikipu, you 

had better submissively behave yourself. Bring me 

that shoe! 

[Tikipu brings it. Pee-Bee hits him 
with it and puts it on. Hiti-Titi, 
while roaming round the room, picks 
up a signboard zvith a hole in it, and 
considers it for a while with his back 
to the others. 
Hiti. Hanky . . . Hanky-panky . '. . Does the 
honorable Mr. Hankin not hear? 

Hank. Belated politeness, did you speak? 
Hiti. Humbleness begs to inquire what Hoki- 
poki at the teashop said when you took him his 
signboard a month behind time? 
Hank. He was out. 

Hiti. And so with honorable caution, to secure 
payment, we brought it back again. 
Hank. No ... we left it. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 7 

Hifi. And he, putting his favorable foot into 
it, has returned it. . . . Allow me to present you 
with the signed article. The Hocus-pocus of 
Hanky-panky by Hoki-poki. (Gives it to Han- 
kin.) That's art criticism! 

Hank. My usual fate : too good for the public 
taste. 

Pee-Bee. Yes — so Mrs. Back - of - the - house 
thought. It was she w^ho put her foot through it. 

Hank. Elephant ! Gray-mare-elephant ! 

[^Attempts to preserve his look of high 
disdain. 

Voice {without). Anything to shell to-day? 

\^Enter Josi-Mosi. 

Josi. Any bits, chips, scraps, rag, bone, old 
clothes? Not any? . . . Mr. Olangtsi seems not 
at home. 

Nezv. Well, if he is, you can't see him. . . . 
You take your judicious hook! 

Josi. Don't want to see him . . . shay ... no 
honorable gentleman got nothing to — er — to — eh? 
Not got any old oilskins, any old frames . . . any 
old lanterns . . . any old pictures not quite de 
fashion . . . any old . . . 

Hank. Here . . . what will indigent avarice 
give me for that? 

[^Oifers damaged sign. 

Josi. Well, if you wash to throw in a pair of old 
shoes to pay me for my trouble . . . Yesh . . . 
I'd take it. 

Hank. Humble but conscious merit is much 
obliged. ... If it means no business, exalted abase- 
ment had better clear out. . . . There's work going 
on here — see? 



8 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Josi, Work? 

Hank, Yes, " work " unpaid, and overtime ! 

Josi, Huh! Shuppose it wash you, den, sittin' 
up here at work with a Hght all last night — eh? — 
and till de morning — and de night before dat, too, 
ugh? 

[TiKiPU stops guiltily^ raises his head and 
listens, 

Teep, Working all last ni — ? Not in here? 

Josi, It wash in here! 

Teep, Tikipu, don't you still sleep here? Who 
was that? 

Tiki (with conf^lsion) , That was Mr. Olangtsi. 
He's very busy getting his new picture finished. 

Lilong. At night I 

Tiki, Yes! — but — but he doesn't want any one 
to know. . . . Oh, honorable young masters, he 
would be very angry were you to say I told you ! 

Teep. Does Mare's-nest-Invention mean to tell 
me that superannuated capacity goes painting at 
night ? 

Tiki, Oh, yes ... I know it. . . . Broken- 
slumber is kept awake by it. 

Josi, And all dat trouble over putting a bit of 
paint and paper togedder! 

Teep, Painting is a wonderful art, Mr. Josi- 
Mosi. 

Josi, Ish it? 

Teep, A picture is a very wonderful thing. 

Josi, Ish it? 

Teep, Yes . . . sometimes. . . . That picture 
illustriously behind you now . . . You know the 
story about that? 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 9 

Josi, I knew dere wash a story. ... I never 
knew dat anybody believed it — except to keep up 
de price. 

Teep. Ah, you should get Tikipu to tell it you! 
He believes it . . . don't you, Tiki ? 

Tiki, The Master himself tells it. 

Hiti, The Master himself owns the picture, 
stupid! . . . But go on — I always like to hear it 
again. 

Josi. Yesh ... go on. 

Tiki, You see, it w^as very long ago. ... It is 
easy not to believe what happened three hundred 
years ago. 

Josi. Yesh — very eashy ... I've found dat 
out. Go on! 

Tiki. Wiowani, the great painter, when he 
painted that picture was old and tired of life, and 
he longed for rest. ... So he painted a little 
porch and a garden; and in the porch just one 
spray of blossom in an old blue jar to remind him 
of youth, an instrument of music to remind him of 
song, and overhead a lantern to give light when it 
grew dark. . . . And when the picture was done 
the Emperor himself came to look at it. . . . And 
as he looked, he said : " Oh, Wiowani, in there, it 
seems to me, is rest! Would that you and I could 
go and live in a place like that forever! " 
And while he spoke the lantern began to glow, 
Softly shedding its light on the floor below. 
And the garden beyond grew dim, form within 

form. 
But all the porch was brimming and bright and 
warm — 



lo THE CHINESE LANTERN 

A home with its doors thrown wide for a well- 
loved guest, 

And out of the dusk of the garden a wind came, 
blest 

With the scent of flowers, all cool from the rising 
dew; 

And lo! in its depth at last, there, born anew, 

The picture passed, and was changed to a world 
of rest! 

Teep, Oh, go on, Tikipu, go on, go on ! 

Tiki, Then, all at once, Wiowani reached a 
hand : 
'' Come,'' he said. " Come with me ! for this is the 

land 
You seek, and thither I go! " 
And into the picture he stept, and turning slow. 
Watched to see 

Whether the Emperor would follow, or no. 
Follow? Not he! Not having the soul 
Of a painter, how could he reach the goal? 
So Wiowani went in by the door. 
Stood, and beckoned, then turned about 
And vanished away! 
And the light of the lantern faded out 
As fades a star at the dawn of day; 
And the picture was only a picture once more! 

Josi, Ugh! . . . It's a very interesting story; 
but I don't happen to want to buy de picture — even 
with Mr. Wiowani thrown in. 

Hank, That's a stupid story, you know. What 
business has a picture with any perspective? You 
might as well talk of walking into a piece of music 
as walking into a picture. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN ii 

Hiti, Ah ! you are an old-fashioned purist, Han- 
Kin. 

Hank. I'm not ; I am simply a scientist. Latest 
science says that you can't tell whether a thing is 
flat or round at twenty feet distance from the eye. 
Stereoscopic sight is a mere accident, and only 
means that you have got too close to an object to 
treat it artistically. Paint your foregrounds as if 
they were twenty feet away, and keep your dis- 
tances as flat as the palm of your hand, and there 
you have art and science rolled into one. 

Teep. Ah, Hankin has been reading the old 
legend — the oldest of all — and he calls himself a 
scientist ! 

Hank. What old legend? 

Teep. How the gods of the first creation made 
everything flat, and put it into a picture book which 
they called the Book of Life, so that they could 
just turn over the leaves and amuse themselves 
without any trouble. 

Lilong. Yes — and then one day they left it out 
in the rain, and it got wet and began to push out 
of bounds and grow and swell in all directions. 
And so we got the world as it is — full of ups and 
downs, and behinds and befores, and corners that 
that you can't see round. Horrible, untidy, dis- 
gusting ! 

New. Well, but what can an artist do? He 
must copy it! 

Lilong. Copy it! Where does Repeating-pat- 
tern find art in that? Mere pig on pork / call it. 
What art has to do is to put things back into shape 
as the gods originally intended. Make your pic- 



12 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

ture submissively flat — and there youVe got relig- 
ious art. A picture that looks as if you could walk 
into it makes me sick. Who zvants to walk into it ? 
Wiowani was an exalted ass, to my thinking. 

Hiti, Anyway — he wasn't an impressionist, 
that's one comfort. 

Hank. And how does comforted ignorance de- 
fine an impressionist ? 

Hiti. Any blinkered fool who can't see an out- 
line, and couldn't draw it if he did. 

\_Grins through damaged signboard. 

Hank. If presumptuous Incapacity imagines 
that innuendo can prevent art from following 
science 

Hiti^ Peeb., Liling, Nezv. {together). Follow 
science — follow fiddlesticks — follow its nose! Art 
can't follow anything: it's a law to itself. Art is 
the handmaid of Religion : Science has nothing 
whatever to do with it. Science be 

Teep. Oh, it's no use quarreling about theories. 
We all paint either what we think will tell, or what 
we think will sell — those are the only two schools 
/ know of. If you are a naturalist, you paint pink 
flesh and green trees. 

New. Naturally ! 

Teep. If a luminist, blue flesh and pink trees. 

Hank. Certainly ! 

Teep. If a symbolist, green flesh and brown 
trees. If you are a vibrantist you see spots, if a 
chiaroscurist you see blots, if you are academic you 
use hard outlines and polished surfaces and call it 
" finish." 

Lilong. No, I don't! 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 13 

Hiti. Yes, he does. 

Teep. If an impressionist, you avoid outlines, 
leave an accidental surface, and call it quality. But 
you all really see exactly alike 

All. We don't. 

Teep. The thing is sometimes to avoid seeing. 
Pee-Ah-Bee does it by screwing his nose into his 
canvas and painting by his sense of touch. 

Hiti. Don't be touchy, Pee-Ah-Bee, your nose 
was there. There's paint on it. 

Teep. Hanky-panky does it at arm's length with 
his eyes shut, finding his accidental effects so much 
better than his scientific ones. Newlyn does it on 
sea air and pilchards, wears a tarpaulin and paints 
with a catspaw in a southwest wind. 

New. I do it on my own, anyhow ! 

Pee-Bee. While Tee-Pee's art consists in always 
starting brilliantly on some new^ sort of paper, put- 
ting his initials on it, and then dropping it for an- 
other sort. 

Josi. And Mrs. Back-of-de-house does like Mr. 
Wiowani : as soon as a picture is finished she walks 
into it. 

[^General laughter. 

Lilong. Sh-h-h ! 

[Without Mrs. Olangtsi's voice is heard, 
raised in anger, loud and voluble, 

Mrs. 0. Wait? No, I won't wait! Get out of 
it ! Wasting your time all day over stuff like that ! 
If you can't work yourself, go and make others do 
it for you. . . . Your Art ? . . . Your fiddlesticks ! 

[All slink back to their places. Josi Mosi 
shuffles off with his pickings. 



14 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

[Enter Mrs. Olangtsi^ * followed by 
Olangtsi. Mrs. O. threads her way 
through obsequiously shifted easel, 
toward Tikipu^ and fetches him a 
box on the ear, 

Mrs, O. Take that! 

[TiKiPU winces, but goes on grinding, 
glancing round apprehensively as she 
retires. Olangtsi follows at her 
heels, showing himself a careful un- 
derstudy of all her masterful ways, 

Olang. Yes, that! 

[Boxes TiKiPU as though the initiative 
were his own. 

Mrs. O. So you pretend you've all been hard at 
work, do you? (To Students.) 

Olang. Aye, you may pretend, but you don't 
deceive me\ 

Teep. (ignoring Olangtsi). August Lady, we 
were only correcting Tikipu for his persistent indo- 
lence. The commotion which you heard just now 
was caused by his resistance. We now perceive 
that correction on our part was superfluous. 

Olang. Superfluous? Of course! I can chas- 
tise Tikipu for myself — as much as I think necessary 
— that is, with assistance from the right quarter. 
(Han-Kin conceals signboard.) Gentlemen, your 
immediate and polite attention 

Mrs. O. (to Han-Kin). Yes — you'd better put 
it out of sight ! Any more things like that, and out 
of this shop you go. 

Olang. Yes, anything more of that kind, and 
you leave my studio instantly. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 15 

Mrs, O. Shop, I said. 

Olang, Studio is more correct. 

Mrs, O. Shop! 

Olang. Shop as far as you are concerned, my 
dear ; and, of course, shop as far as he is concerned. 
Understand — 

Out of this shop 
Neck and crop! 
That's a rhyme, my dear. ... I don't know any 
rhyme to studio. 

Mrs, O, Nor I. You'd better begin your lec- 
ture, instead of Avasting time arguing with me. 

[Mrs. Olangtsi starts labeling a row of 
lanterns, 

Olang, Yes, yes — as I was about to remark, 
gentlemen, pupils, and — and others, your immedi- 
ate and polite attention. The instruction it has so 
long been my assiduous effort to bestow on your — 
ah — slowly dc^wning intelligences, is to-day relaxed 
when at the stroke of noon we start to celebrate 
the Feast of Lanterns — the Feast of those lanterns 
which are so largely supplied from this emporium 
of the arts. 

Mrs. O. Shop. 

Olang. Yes — as I was saying — shop. But before 
we turn to scenes of distraction and relaxation, I 
am here once more to remind you of your high and 
privileged calling in the traditions of Wiowani, the 
greatest of all the ancient Masters, whose only sur- 
viving follower and representative I am, and whose 
last and greatest masterpiece here stands before you 
for your instruction. 

[^Students turn; Nau-Tee knocks over 
HiTi's paint pot. 



i6 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Hiti, Propinquitous idiot! 

Olang, This august picture, as you all know 

Yung, (awakening) . I want my tea, Fm wait- 
ing for my tea — tea — tea — tea ! 

Mrs. O. (going to inner door). Meemee, bring 
in the tea! (To Josi.) Oh, you are there, are 
you? Here, take that rubbish away! (Gives him 
signboard.) When's that money-lender man of 
yours coming? (Aside.) 

Josi. Preshently. He's going to see de public 
executions first — den he'll come. 

Ynng. Executions? When are the executions, 
Josi Mosi? 

Josi. Twelve o'clock, of course, before de Feast 
commenshes. You'll see 'em. Dey come dish way. 
^ Yung. Phwit! Ha, ha! 

l^Slaps his knee. 

Olang. Ach, you low fellow! That wakes you, 
does it? That amuses you! Oh, what's the use of 
trying to make an artist of you? 

Yung. I didn't want to be an artist. I wanted 
to be a grocer. I zvas a grocer once. I am still. 

Olang. How dare you say so? How dare you? 

Ynng. The certificate says so; I've got the cer- 
tificate. See! That says 

\^He produces certificate. 
Olang. It says nothing! (Snatching it.) Your 
name is not on it. 

Yung. Because you painted it out! 
Olang. It no longer concerns you! In future 
you will please to let it alone. 

\^Pockets it. 

Yung. You always disliked me, father! 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 17 

Olang, I didn't always dislike you! How 
dare you say that? I dislike your manners — who 
wouldn't? I dislike your tastes, I dislike your ap- 
pearance, and I dislike your character. . . . More 
than that I — I — don't say. 

Yung, He's taken my certificate! 

[ Whimpering. 

Mrs, O. What have you taken his certificate 
for? Let him have it, if it amuses him! 

Yvmg. It was red; it had white letters on it — 
and it said 

Olang, My dear, do you not know that in this 
country for a grocer to be also an artist is illegal, 
and can you not see that if you allow him always 
to go fancying himself a grocer he will never be- 
come a painter? 

Yung. It said— 

Mrs. O. No, I can't; there's no sense in it! 
You are always saying what Art wants is imagina- 
tion. Well — let him practice imagining himself a 
grocer. 

[Enter Meemee from house. 

Yung. It said I was to be a grocer, not an 
artist ! 

Mrs. O. Here! (To Josi.) You can go. Tell 
him as soon after twelve as he can. 

Josi. I'll bring him. 

[Exit Josi. 

Mee. Will any of you condescensions tea? 
Have some? (To Yunglangtsi, who on taking it 
stops whimpering.) Tank! . . . Have some? . . . 
Tank? (She goes round offering to all in turn in 
the same words.) Have some? . . . Tank! 



i8 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Mrs, O. (aside to Olang.). See that they are 
all gone before he comes ! 

Olang, Gone? Gone? I shan't be able to get 
them to go — not till I have paid them! 

Mrs, O, Yes, you will — there's the execution. 
Say you'll pay them to-night. 

Olang, I've said that sometimes before. 

Mrs, O, Say it again. If they don't believe 
you, you can shout it ; if they still don't believe you, 
whisper it. 

[Meemee, coming behind, waits for Mrs. 
Olangtsi'^ attention, 

Olang, Will that? 
Mrs, O, Yes, if you do it properly. 
Mee, High hon'ble Mrs. Back-of-the-house not 
have any? 

Mrs, 0, No! Take it away! 
Mee, Not any next nice new order? No? 
Tank! 

[Crosses to Tiki. He shakes his head 
apprehensively, 

Mrs, O, What are you doing there? 

Mee, Mos' hon'ble ! only to make it go de whole 
way roun' — not to waste it. 

Mrs. O, Take it away! Go and get my shoes 
ready, and my big sunshade, so that I can get out 
before the shops shut. {Exit Mee.) Tikipu, as 
soon as you've done what you are at, take round 
those lanterns; the labels are all on them. Don't 
leave them at the wrong doors ; and mind, whatever 
they say, you're to wait for the money. 

Olang, Yes, recollect you are to wait for the 
money. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 19 

Mrs, 0. Now, Olangtsi, you can get on with 
your lecture, and be done with it before I come 
back. 

[Exit into house, 
[Signal passes between Students; they 
fold lip their easels. 

Olang. Gentlemen, your immediate and polite 
attention. . . . Where was I ? What had I got to ? 

Nezi!, ''Wait for the money " was Eloquence's 
last hopeful remark. It is what we are all doing 
now. 

Olang, Silence ! 

Lilong, Mr. Olangtsi, we do not want your lec- 
ture! We want our wages: those wages which, 
Apology^ begs to point out, are in honorable arrears. 

Olang, Of course, of course! Well, you shall 
have your money. ( They extend their palms, ) Do 
you think that I am not going to pay you? 

[HiTi and Nau-Tee look on grimiing. 

Hank, No ... on the contrary, we think that 
you are\ 

Olang, You shall be paid to-night. 

Teep, It will then be the Feast, during which, 
as Affluence is no doubt honorably aware, no legal 
debt is recoverable. . . . Mr. Olangtsi, labor itself 
is pleasing to us, but the needful is also necessary. 
How can we feast if our pockets be empty? 

Olang {shouts), I tell you — you shall be paid 
to-night ! 

Peeb. By to-night Mrs. Back-of-the-house will 
have returned. Considerate Master, it makes a dif- 
ference; before you we can uplift the voice of com- 
plaint, which at the blast of her nostrils becomes 
dumb. 



20 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Olang (whispering). I tell you, you shall be 
paid to-night. 

Hank, (after gathering the approval of the 
others). We accept. But as an honorable precau- 
tion — since in the meanwhile Mrs. Back-of-the- 
house may have returned — we will save Scrub-and- 
run-errands the trouble of delivering those lectures. 
We will deliver them ourselves — and collect the 
money! 

Olang. Indeed, you will do no such thing ! 
Tikipu, take in those lanterns! 

[TiKiPU is set upon. He holds the lan- 
terns over his head. His arm is 
dragged down. 
Olang. But, gentlemen, this will be very awk- 
ward for me! I consider it a most — a most un- 
gentlemanly proceeding! When rny wife hears of 

it she will 

[^Reenter Mrs. Olangtsi. They all col- 
lapse hack into their places. 
Mrs. 0. Tikipu, bring on those lanterns and 
call a coolie. Til see to them myself. (Exit Tikipu 
with lanterns.) Oh, so the lecture's finished, is it? 
Well, then, you'd better all get on with your work; 
and you, Olangtsi, you come with me. . . . You 
can all go at twelve. 

\^Meekly followed by Olangtsi^ she sallies 
forth into street, 
Teep. Well, really! 

Hank. If that green Elephant thinks that she 
can trample upon me! 

Hiti. Dear Hanky-pancake — she's done it! 
Lilong. Oh, don't talk about it, it's too con- 
secutively sickening! 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 21 

[Enter Meemee. She clears away cups, 
looks inquiringly at each student as 
she does so. 

Mee. H'm! Me tink you all velly sad to-day? 

Teep, {lugubriously). It's the Feast of Lan- 
terns, Meemee. 

Mee. H'm! Dat not sad. 

New. Yes, it is, if you've no money to spend 
on it. 

{^Reenter Tikipu. He goes hack to his 
work, ignoring Meemee. 

Mee. What for you want to spend money? 
You talk, you walk, you run about and you play, 
you sing and you dance. Dat evellyting to make 
you happy — in de worF. 

Lilong. How can one sing if one's nothing to 
sing about? 

Mee. You sing about yo'self. All de worl' sing 
about itself: how nice to be oneself. Dat not true? 
I sing — I show you! {She prepares center of stage 
for dance and song.) Dis goin' to be velly beauti- 
ful, but it cost noting ! Dere's a river ; dere's a lily ; 
an' dis is me. And dere is you all lookin' like ducks 
on de water, yes. . . . Now! 

[Takes guitar and sings. 

Will you have a sing-song, a sing-song, a sing- 
song? 
Cly de ducks a-quacking on de Ying Kai banks. 
Any song day you sing — sho' to be de wrong song ? 
S'all I no sing you any song? No t'anks! 



22 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Lill golden lily dat is lying in de water, 

Golden lily willy-nilly holding to de banks ; 

Lift up yo' head an' see de Chi'man's daughter; 

Tiptoe she go — ^^just so. No t'anks. 

Lill golden lily wid yo' open eye a-winking, 

All de while you wonder why de worl' so ill at ease ! 

What has you been hopin' f o' ? What has you been 

tinking ? 
What you say you want? Pick-me-quick ? Yes, 

please ! 
(Speaks,) Lill golden lily! Ah, ho! (She picks 
the flower and puts it into her hair,) Dat's all 
you'll hear about it — dis time. Wish you so happy 
Feast! Goo' by! 

\_R^tns oif laughing. 

Students. Meemee, come back! Meemee, Mee- 
mee! 

Yung, (awaking) , Who was making that beastly 
row? (Drums of execution procession are heard,) 
What's that? 

Teep, (looking out). It's the execution! Ah, 
ha ! Here they come ! 

Yung, Who-whoop ! Who-whoop ! 

[Exeunt all, except Tikipu, in great haste. 

[TiKiPU throzvs himself forward over the 
stand zvhere he has been grinding, 
and buries his face in his arms. En- 
ter Meemee; she advances sympa- 
thetically, but timidly. 
Mee. Tiki . . . Tikipu. . . . Have dey been 
beating you again? Eh? (Goes up to him.) 
Tiki, what is you dying for? (Touches him.) 
You dying? 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 23 

Tiki, (rousing himself zmth an effort). No, I 
wasn't crying, Meemee; I was only asleep. . . . 
Crying! Ha! {He gets up.) Everyone gone? 

Mee, Yes . . . dere's de to-be-made-dead men 
jus' gone by! . . . Oh, hear! Oh, see! {She runs 
to door and peeps out. Tiki crosses to picture aji4 
sits gating at it,) Oh, look. Tiki, dere's a big pig 
lying asleep out in de street! All de people go by 
— he not care — he sleep. 

Tiki. H'm! . . . Like Yunglangtsi — eh? 

Mee. Oh . . . you wicked \ Hee, hee, hee! 
Yes — he Yunglangtsi — just dat! ... {To the pig 
outside.) Say! You waitin' for yo' little wife to 
come? Flaps she mally some one else while you 
w^aitin', eh ? Grrr ! Grrr ! {She shuts door. ) Hee, 
hee, hee, hee! You don't like Yunglangtsi? 

Tiki, {yawning). Do you? 

Mee. Mm-yah! When he sleep ... he seem 
velly nice. Me not like him, plaps, if he w^ake too 
much! . . . Tiki, you 'sleep, too? . . . Say? — you 
sittin' up all las' night? 

Tiki. Sitting up? 

Mee. {nods). M'm . . . she know: she lie 
awake an' watch de light, den she go to sleep — 
plaps. Den she wake. . . . De light still dere. . . . 
Tiki, what de matter wid you? {Shakes him.) Is 
you in love? 

Tiki, {rousing himself). In lo — Oh, it's no 
use telling you, Meemee; you wouldn't understand. 
You are only a woman. 

Mee. H'm ! . . . Onl' . . . Dat velly big only ! 
. . . dat half de worl'. . . . What is yo'self ? . . . 
Only a man ! You isn't quite a man — yet — else you 
never say foolish ting like dat! ..." Only! " 



24 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Tiki. Ah, well ! I mean it's a secret, something 
you don't know anything about. There are many 
mysteries in the world, Meemee — this one is mine. 

Mee. Mistless — yo' mistless? Some one bigger 
than Mrs. Back-of-de-house ? 

Tiki. Yes, bigger than Mrs. Back-of-the-house ! 

Mee. Dat possible? No! . . . Tiki? . . . 

Tiki. Yes? Well? 

Mee. Me got seclet too; one gleat big seclet! 
And oh — so nice! . . . One you not know. Tiki 
. . . eh? . . . Man dat sol' me know . . . man 
dat bought me know. Nobody else know — at all. 
. . . Me velly vallable! 

Tiki, (indifferently). Oh, I dare say! . . . Here! 
Meemee, stay as you are! (Takes up drawing 
board from Yunglangtsi's easel.) I'll do your 
portrait. This is Yunglangtsi's, there's nothing on 
it. He'll think he did it in his sleep. . . . 

\^He starts sketching. She stands smiling. 

Mee. H'm ! Tink he's bin havin' nice dream, 
den! 

Tiki. What was it brought you here, Meemee? 

Mee. Money ! 

Tiki. What? D'you mean to say you've got 
money ? 

Mee. Not no — noting dat kind, leas' little bit 
at all. 

Tiki. But you said 

Mee. No — say noting like that! Me bought 
wife for dat man's son to mally. Not nice thought 
dat — eh, what? 

Tiki. But why ever does he want to marry yott, 
Meemee ? 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 25 

Mee, H'm — dat my lill seclet! Though me got 
no money left, me born under star — star say man 
dat mally me gleat artis'. He no artis' now, eh? 
He only got to mally me — den he become! See? 

Tiki. Oh! So that is why he always sits idle 
and never works? It's all going to be done for 
him! 

Mee. Yes, so ! Jus' waitin' fo' me to come and 
make him big artis'. 

Tiki. And when is that to be? 

Mee. \\^hen de star come say right time — den 
mally. 

Tiki. How soon? 

Mee. Oh ! not for long time yet — t'ree year. 

Tiki. I suppose the star makes the date very 
particular ? 

Mee. Evellybody velly particular. Me not velly 
particular. Star say me got to mally gleat artis'. 
H'm gleat artis' not velly good husband, me tink. 

Tiki. Oh, yes ! Why not ? Look at Mr. Olang- 
tsi. He's a very good husband, in a way. 

Mee. He gleat artis'? 

Tiki. He was, Meemee; he's a little old now. 

Mee. He mally under star, eh? 

Tiki. There! that's finished now. 

[^He puts dozvn drazving hoard. 

Mee. Oh, dat wonderful! 

Tiki. Don't you tell, mind! Now; off with 
you! We'll leave it here for Yunglangtsi. (Starts 
tidying up.) Some one's coming, Meemee. 

[Exit Meemee; Tikipu passes into pan- 
try. 

[Enter Josi and Cosi Mosi. 



26 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Josi. Any one in? . . . Come in, Coshi. . . . 
Dere'sh only de boy! Take a look at de furniture, 
now youVe got de chance. Dat's de picture— over 
dere. . . . And don't forget you give me ten per 
cent on what you make from de introduction, Coshi. 

Cosi, That won't do. 'Tisn't worth it. Five. 

Josi, Coshi, I'm your only brother; split de dif- 
ference and make it nine. 

Cosi, What's the good of your being my 
brother, when you are so shabby I can't own you? 

Josi, Ugh! Dere ain't much to choose between 
you and me for shabbiness, Coshi ; I've got a shabby 
coat, but you've got a shabby shoul — dat's all. . . . 
How much did you say? 

[TiKiPU enters, 

Cosi. Five's my figure. 

Josi. Five's mine. . . . What do you think of 
de picture? 

[TiKiPU starts. 

Cosi. Seems genuine enough, but I wouldn't 
give 300 yen for dat. Dat style's gone out of 
fashion now. 

[^Reenter Meemee. 

Tiki. You — you are not going to take away 
that picture, are you? 
Cosi. Why not? 
Tiki. Oh! 

Cosi. 'Tisn't yours, is it? 
Mee. {removing cup). If yo' please! Tank! 
Cosi. Hello! Who's dat? 

\^Exit Meemee. 

Josi. Dat's de little gel I told you about. Dey 
bought her seven years ago. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 27 

Cost. She'd be a good security, she would. In 
three years' time she'd be a good bargain for 
me. ... (To TiKiPU, derisively.) Does dat — dat 
gel belong to you, too ? 

• [TiKiPU shakes his head indifferently. 

[Enter Mr. and Mrs. Olangtsi. 

Mrs. O. Oh, you've come earlier than you said. 
Well, you've told him what we want? Here (to 
Tiki, who shows sudden interest), you can go and 
wait outside. 

[Exit TiKiPU. 

Josi. Yesh, I've told him. 

Mrs. O. What did you say his name was? 

Josi. Mr. Coshi Mosi — name fifty per shent the 
same, but no relation. Go on — you tell him what 
you want. 

Mrs. O. Three hundred yen's what I want. 
Have you got it? 

Cosi. Have I got it ? Yesh — you haven't : that's 
the point! Next point — have you got anything 
that'll cover it? 

Olang. Of course! My word is my bond. I 
will give you my word 

Mrs. O. Hold your tongue! 

Cosi (ignoring Olangtsi). How long d'you 
want it for? 

Mrs. O. Three years. 

Cosi. What's your security? 

Mrs. O. Everything you see here. 

Cosi. Not enough. 

Mrs. O. There's a picture. 

[Points over shoulder. 



28 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Cosi, Yesh, Eve seen dat. 

Olang, Understand, that is a most valuable pic- 
ture! I would not part from it for any sum you 
like to name! 

Cosi. I wouldn't like to name any sum. It's 
out of date, and it's in a bad state of preservation. 

Olang. Then you know nothing about it! Its 
preservation is perfect. 

Cosi. Dat's what I mean : it's been over-^rt- 
served; it ought to have been destroyed long ago. 
. . . Have you got nothing better than that to raise 
money on? 

Olang. Than that? No. 

Mrs. 0. Than that? Yes! Have you never 
heard of our son, Yunglangtsi ? 

Cosi. No. 

Mrs. O. Well, I'll tell you. Seven years ago 
his future was foretold from the stars. In three 
years from now he'll have become the greatest of 
living artists. 

Josi (aside). Don't you believe it, Coshi. 

Cosi. Is he making a living now? 

Mrs. O. He's alive. What more do you want? 

Josi. Don't you believe dat either, Cosi. He's 
only half alive. 

[^Aside. 

Cosi. Can you show me any of his work? 

Josi (aside). Dat's got 'em! 

Mrs. O. No, I can't, and for a good enough 
reason, too. Every picture he paints he sells right 
away. 

Olang. That is true; we have not a single piece 
of his work unsold. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 29 

Cost. Very good. Den when he's got a piece 
to sell ril call again and look at it. . . . Good 
morning. 

Olang, (suddenly catching sight of the drawing). 
Stop! . . . Look — look here, my dear. This is 
most extraordinary! Here is something that has 
not been sold. 

Mrs. 0. Ah! Now, say what you like! Look 
at that! 

[Enter Yunglangtsi, making gesture of 
execution zvith his hand, he shuffles 
in, chuckling. 

Yung. Phit ! Phit ! Ah, ha ! I've been to the 
executions, mother. Three of them were hanged 
and two had their heads cut off! They did make 
such funny faces! Phit! . . . 

[Goes and squats. 

Olang. How could he have done it? Why, it's 
— it's wonderful! . . . When did you do this? 

Yung. Do that ? Why, that's Meemee, of course. 

Josi. Yes, that's Meemee, right enough. 

Mrs. 0. There, that shows you! 

Olang. The star! The star! It is the begin- 
ning of the Event. This day three years it will 
come true! 

Mrs. O. (aside). Don't be a fool! He never 
did that. It was one of the others. 

Cosi. Here, about dish money; dat little gel — 
why've you said nothing about her? She belong 
to you, eh? 

Mrs. 0. Yes. Well? 

Yung. Meemee belongs to uie: you may take 
Meemee, if you'll give me back my certificate ! 

Olang. Be silent! 



30 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Cosi. Well, make a security of her and you shall 
have de money — wid de other securities, too, mind 
you; dere's no knowing — she might die. 

Olang. Meemee a security! No, no, that is 
impossible ! 

Mrs. O. Why is it impossible, I should like to 
know ? 

Josi {to Cosi). Leave dem alone. YouVe got 
her. 

[^They retire. 

Olang. But, my dear, we — we can't risk it! 

Mrs. O. Stuff! I know what Em about. 

Olang. H before this day three years Meemee 
goes out of our hands unmarried . . . 

Mrs. O. She won't . . . this day three years is 
the very day. Before we let her go she'll be mar- 
ried. Before she goes from here we shall have . . . 
got the value. 

Olang. Oh! Ah, I never thought of that! 

Mrs. O. You never would. 

Cosi. Well? Have you agreed? 

Mrs. 0. Yes. 

Olang. Yes — we have agreed. 

Cosi. All right : den, now let's get it into form. 
{Puts on spectacles.) Three hundred yen for three 
years at twenty per cent — as from to-day. 

Mrs. 0. Money down. 

Cosi. Count it out, Josi ; you'll find it dere. . . . 
{Aside.) It's de exact amount, Josi; you need only 
pretend to count it. (Cosi starts to fill up form. 
Josi, disappointed of pickings, counts money.) De 
first shecurity is de gel — which is your own prop- 
erty ? Name ? 

Josi. Meemee . . . you spell it with an M. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 31 

Cosi. Meemee — to be handed over on demand 
if the loan is not repaid — with all interest due — dis 
day tree year — dat is, the Feast of Lanterns. . . . 
De second shecurity is de picture — your own prop- 
erty ? Entitled ? 

Josi. " De Threshold of de Muses/' 

Cosi. By? 

Josi, Mr. Wiowani. 

Cosi, Living artist? 

Josi. Deceased — date of death not known. 

Cosi. Third shecurity ... all furniture and 
household effects, private and professional, belong- 
ing to Mr. Olangtsi. . . . You call yourself an 
artist, eh? 

Olang. I do . . . that is . . . yes. 

Cosi, Artist ... of ... so ... so ... so. 
. . . Date, de . . . yes. Dere! Dat's all right! 
. . . Now, if you sign dis, I give you de money. 

Olang. But, if by any chance I should be un- 
able to repay . . . then you take all that I have? 

Cosi, No, I don't. . . . De girl and de picture 
togedder will cover de amount. ... If de girl 
should die . . . well, of course, if the girl should 
die . . . den you won't be so well off. 

Olang. You see, my dear . . . 

Mrs. 0, Sign it! 

Olang, Very well ... I ... I sign, but I 
sign under protest. . . . What do I do? 

Cosi, You deliver this as your act and deed. 

Olang, I deliver this as my act and deed — and 
I — I wash my hands of all responsibility in the 
matter ! 

Cosi, All right . . . dere's de money. 

IHands bag. 



32 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Mrs. O. I hope you've brought it in silver? 
Ah, yes. Because there's the week's wages to be 
paid to-night. 

Olang. The whole quarter's, my dear. 

Mrs. O. Will you hold your tongue! . . . 

Cosi. Well, dat's all. . . . Honorable good day 
to you and a fortunate Feast. 

Mrs. O. Honorable good day. 

Olang. Honorable good day. Condescend to 
overeat yourself, and greatly oblige. 

\^Exit Cosi. 

Mrs. O. Now, after this you'd better give up 
painting pictures that won't sell ! It's no use burn- 
ing your candle at both ends if you can't make 
them meet. 

Josi. Yesh, he was burning his candle last 
night! Got de picture finished, eh? You might 
have thrown dat into de shecurity as well. 

Mrs. O. He's not getting any picture finished. 
What d'you mean? 

Josi. Oh, ah! We wash to pretend we didn't 
know. All right . . . de candle was burning to 
amuse itself, I shuppose! 

Olang. A candle? . . . Burning? , . . Where? 

Josi. In here. 

Olang. When ? 

Josi. Last night . . . when I went to bed dere 
was a light . . . when I got up dere was a light. 
Now, Honorable Mrs. Back-of-the-house, dere's my 
little commission, please, for de introduction. . . . 
How much did we shay it was to be? 

Olang. In here, you say ? . . . Last night? . . . 

Josi. Yesh, and oder nights ash well ! . . . Ten 
shen, I tink we said, eh? 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 33 

Mrs, O, {looking fixedly at Olangtsi). Five, 
I said. 

Josi. Five! 

Mrs. O, (putting down money). There's five for 
you ; it's either that or none. Now you be off ! Ah, 
there's the Feast begun! 

\_Bells start clanging. 

Josi. Aye, dere's de Feasht. ''Eat meat!'' it 
' shays, '' drink wine ! 

[Bells. 

" Drink, drink, drink ! and be happy, all you 
shwine! " 

IBells, 

[Exit Josi. 

Olang. A light in here! In here there has been 
a hght, 

[Bells. 

Burning until the dawn all through the night! 

Mrs. O. Yes, we know that. D'you mean it 
wasn't you? 

Olang. A light, a light, a light! Ah! if it's 
true. 
What does it mean? 

Mrs. 0. Means some one's been about 

Where he'd no right to be. Now we've found out, 
We'll make him smart foi^ it! 

Olang. Make who? Make who? 

Mrs. 0. Why, who is it that sleeps here? 

Olang. Tikipu ! 

What! Tikipu . . . you think that it was he? 



34 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Mrs, O, That's to be proved. . . . Wait till to- 
night and see. ... 
Do nothing . . . say nothing. . . . Don't let him 

guess 
That you know anything at all. The less 
You say the better! 

lExit Mrs. O. 

IBells, 

Olang, Ah! A light! A Hght! 

What does it mean? Well, I shall know to-night! 

Chorus (zvithout). (Bells at intervals.) 
Ching-a-ring-a-ring-ting, Feast of Lanterns, 

Sing the song, and set the gong to sound round 
the town! 
Up and out, and all about, now every man that can 
turns ; 
China shall catch fire when the sun goes down! 



CURTAIN 



ACT II 

Scene : Opens after sunset, Meemee is discovered 
lighting up the studio. Students enter from 
house. They run round after each other's tails 
in a cat-prozvling fashion, singing in high 
good humor. 

Students (in round of chorus). 

Mew-cats, mew-cats, come and take a walk! 

Mew-cats, mew-cats, come and have a talk ! 

Catch your catch, as cat's can ! Who can catch me 

now? 
What you at, scratch cat? Phit! Phat! Miaow! 

IDance, 

Teep. (rubbing his hands). Ah, ha! 

New, (slapping his pockets). Ha, ha! 

The Rest. Hee-hee! 

Mee, What you all laughing 'bout nothing for? 

Teep, We are all in a very good temper to- 
night, Meemee — we've been paid ! 

Mee, Dat so? 

Teep, Yes — to the last sen! Isn't that won- 
derful? 

Mee, Velly nice, me tink. 

Teep, And so, Meemee (takes box from Li- 
long), here's a little present for you which self- 
sacrificing generosity has been 16ng intending. 

\_Presents a box of sweets. 

35 



36 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Mee. Oh, hon'ble nicenesses, awfully to conde- 
scen' ! 

Hiti. They are sweets, Meemee. 

Naut, We hope they are good; but we haven't 
tried them. 

Mee. {offering box). Graciously to inspect hum- 
bleness invite! {They help themselves in turn, 
without scruple or limit. ) Me hope dey quite good 
enough — to yo' taste? 

Teep. Very good indeed, Meemee. . . . Thank 
you. . . . Yes, as I was saying, we've been paid. 

Lilong. And so we have promised 

Peeb. What do you think? 

New. Why, to take Yunglangtsi in the proces- 
sion with us. 

Hank. As a walking advertisement. 

Mee. He not going to walk all de way? 

Nezv. Oh, no! 

Lilong. We are going to have him carried in a 
chair of state — quite grand, like a mandarin. 

Peeb. And we shall go in front and behind. 
We are going to get the chair now. 

Hank. Have all the lanterns lighted for us, 
Meemee, when we come back. 

Mee. Say? How long will de procession last? 

Teep. Till dawn, Meemee, till dawn! Then the 
lanterns go out, and w^e all run home like cats. 

Hiti. Like cats, Meemee, holding on to each 
other's tails — for some of us won't be able to walk 
straight by then! Come, pussy cats . . . 

Chorus. 
Mew-cats, mew-cats, all fit and fat, 
Mew-cats, mew-cats, what will you be at? 
Tit-for-tat, kit-for-cat — can't you have enough? 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 37 

[They imitate a cafs fight. 

Catch your catch and catch again! Phit! Phat! 
Fuff! 

[They dance off, holding each other's pig- 
tails. 

[Meanwhile Yunglangtsi has entered, 
dull and ponderous. He squats dis- 
consolately on a bench, sitting on his 
heels or cross-legged, and looks at 
Meemee with a sort of sulky pos- 
sessiveness, 

Yung. Come to me here, Meemee! Come and 
talk to me! 

Mee. Ya-as! What sort of talky-talky serenity 
Hke best? 

Yung, Any silly chatter will do, so long as you 
talk. 

Mee, Hon'ble Mr. Yunglangtsi not velly happy 
to-night? 

Yung. Tm bored, Meemee, Pm bored! 

Mee. You been changin' yo' clo's? 

Yung, I was made to, Meemee; mother made 
me ... so did my father. ... I don't belong to 
myself, Meemee. . . . Pm a human sacrifice. 

Mee. Dey look mos', mos' beautiful. . . . You 
jus' like a big lantern all on fire! . . . When you 
go in de procession — all de little bat-moths and 
bobby-howlers fly up again you — so! And burn 
deyselves fo' dey know where dey are! Hee, hee! 

Yung, Do you think that funny, Meemee? 

Mee, Rader funny, don' you tink? 

Yung, You are very silly, Meemee. 



38 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Mee, Ya-as, me velly silly — me know dat ! Not 
evellybody so gleat wise person as Mr. Yunglangtsi, 
h'm? H'm? 

Yung, You think I like you, Meemee, don't 
you? 

Mee. Ya-as — a leetle. 

Yvmg, Well, I don't, then. ... I dislike you 
. . . there's no one I dislike more. . . . Shall I tell 
you why? 

Mee. If you please. 

Yung. It's because you've robbed me — yes, you, 
you shabby little interloper. I'm not the man I was 
once; you don't know anything about me. . . . 
Till you came here with that confounded horoscope 
of yours, I was happy — I'd reason to be, then. . . . 
D'you know what I was? (She shakes her head.) 
A grocer! ... I suppose you don't know what 
that means ? Well, it means sitting in a great shop 
where people come to buy, and giving orders to 
everybody. And all round you there are barrels of 
oil, with taps that run, and casks of sugar, and tea 
by the ton ; and bins of rice and boxes of spice, and 
everything nice as nice can be! And a crushing 
machine where things are ground, and the samples 
all have a different sound. And you plunge your 
arms in flour or meal; and if you can't see what it 
is — you can feell 

Mee. Oh, how beautiful! 

Yung. And soap, Meemee! Oh, there's a for- 
tune to be made out of soap alone! There was a 
man once, Meemee, who spent three years inventing 
the name of a soap. . . . And when he'd invented 
it, he turned it into a syndicate and sold it — he sold 
it for 20,000 yen. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 39 

Mee. De name? 

Yung, Yes, the name. What the soap was 
didn't matter so long as it had a good name. 
That's real art, Meemee, and that's what being a 
grocer means. . . . That's what / was once! 

Mee. You? Oh, poo' man, to lose all dat! 

Yung, Yes, I'd got my full grocer's certificate. 
I'd taken five years to earn it, and I was so proud 
of it! I used to wear it round my neck so that 
everyone could see. ... It had white letters, on 
a red ground, and it said. . . . (He breaks down.) 
And all because of you and your stars, they've gone 
and taken it off me! ... I tell you they'd given 
up trying to turn me into an artist; they'd found 
it was no good. And then you came, you — you— 
you superfluous little pig! — and now I've got to 
wait till your beastly star comes round again — 
three years — and then I've got to marry you and 
become a fool of a painter — when I might have 
been a grocer — if you'd only stayed away! 

Mee, Oh! me velly, velly solly! Me 'bomin- 
ably not wanted, eh? 

Yung, My father doesn't understand me, Mee- 
mee! . . . No one understands me. . . . You don't 
understand me, either. 

Mee, Me tink — yes! Have a sweet! 

[^Offers box, 

Yung, Thank you, Meemee. ... I think you 
do understand me a little. . . . When I was a gro- 
cer I used to have more sweets than I could eat, 
but now — I never get enough! ... I don't hate 
you now as much as I did, Meemee. . . . Have 
one? 



40 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Mee, Oh, tank, tank, no! . . . Shabby humble- 
ness never dare! 

Yung. It won't hurt you, Meemee, it's a very 
Httle one. 

Mee, Oh, so graciously to condescen' ! Tank ! 

\_She grovels and advances on all fours. 
Having received it she takes oppor- 
tunity^ while YuNGLANGTSi is ex- 
ploring the box for remains, to throw 
it away and wipe her hand, 

Yung, It's very hard, Meemee, when one's got 
a sorrow like mine, ever to forget it. 

Mee, Ah ! dat so true ! 

Yung. It spoils my appetite, Meemee; it upsets 
my digestion . . . sometimes it even prevents me 
from sleeping. ... I haven't slept ... I haven't 
slept since . . . You there, Meemee? 

Mee, Yes. 

Yung, Come and fan me! 

Voice {without, in the distance). Lights, lights, 
lights, lights, lights. People! People! People! 
Light your lanterns all. 

Chorus {in distance), 

Ching-a-ring-a-ring-ting, feast of lanterns! 

Time to chime the lute, the flute, the loud bas- 
soon ! 
Shouting out, and all about the link-light man 
turns : 
Sing awake a tune to make the moon come soon ! 
Yung, Meemee ! 

Mee. Ya-as . . . please? . . . Say? . . . 
Yung, You still there? 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 41 

Mee. Ya-as. 

Yung. . . . Stop fanning me. 

[He sleeps. 

Voice {without, going by with rattle of wand on 
wall). Lights, lights, Hghts! People, people, peo- 
ple! Light your lanterns all! 

[TiKiPU enters from street. 

Tiki. Meemee! . . . Has everyone gone out? 
Mee. Sh! not gone yet! ... 

\^Poifits. 

Tiki. But they are all going? Mrs. Back-of- 
the-house, too? 

Mee. She say. 

Tiki. Oh, look here, Meemee! When they've 
gone — you come and clean up for me and Til — 
well ril show you something Lm doing. 

[ Enter Mr. and Mrs. Olangtsi. 

Mrs. O. Oh, so you are back, are you? When 
is the chair coming? 

[TiKiPU looks out. 

Tiki. Condescension, they are bringing it now. 

Voices {without). Lights, lights, lights. Come 
and see the sights. Chin, Chin, Chinaman! Did 
ever you see a finer man? A major or a minor 
man. Lights, lights, lights. 

Mrs. O. Olangtsi, are you ready? 

Olang. Yes, my dear, I'm ready. Where is my 
lantern, Meemee? 

Mrs. O. Is Yunglangtsi ready? 

Mee. Yes, high-mighty, he leddy an' waitin' 
mos' patient. 

[Students heard without. 



42 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Mrs, O. Tell them to come right in. 

[TiKiPU opens door zvide; they enter 
zvith chair and bearers, "" Lights, 
lights, lights/' etc. 

,Olang, {to YuNGLANGTSi). Now, you fat 
feather bed, wake up! 

[^Shakes him. 

Mrs, O, Let him alone! He can go just as well 
asleep if he likes ! There, put him in ! Then you 
can start; we'll follow presently. 

Students, Oh ! 

[They lift the chair with a great effort, 

Yung, Oh, mother, Eve just had such a dream 
— such a dream! I dreamt I was a grocer again. 
... I dreamt that I . . . 

[Exeunt Students, hearing Yunglang- 
TSi. "' Lights, lights, lights/' etc, 

Olang, Ah, the low lout! Grocer indeed! How 
shall I ever make an artist of a thing like that? 

Mrs, 0, You won't, so don't worry yourself! 
That's Heaven's affair, not yours. As he's got to 
wait, he may as well do it sleeping as waking. You 
can't hurry a comet by treading on its tail ! so you'd 
better leave it alone. . . . Meemee, you go to bed 
at once. . . . Tikipu, take away those oil cans. 

[Exit Meemee into house, Tikipu into 
pantry, 

(To Olangtsi.) Now, then, we are going, you 
tmderstand. I shall go out that way; you go this. 
By the time you come back Fll manage to be in 
the house somewhere. If you want me, call me; 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 43 

only mind you don't come too soon, or we shan't 

catch him! ... ro •• ^ -p 

iReenfer Iikipu. 

Now, then (to Tikipu), as soon as you've cleaned 
up here you go to bed, too. Put out those lights 
— you only want one ! Olangtsi, mind you lock the 
street door! Fll go out the other way and meet 
you! Be quick, put out those lights. 

[To Tikipu. Exit, 

Olang. Yes, put them all out! Don't go burn- 
ing my candles at both ends. 

[Exit fussily. 
Voices in distance, 

China's burning, China's burning! 
Look yonder, look yonder! 
Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! 
Oh, bring us some water! 

[Tikipu leaves the lights and goes to get 
out his painting. Reenter Meemee. 

Mee. Oh, Tiki, she gone! She took de key, 
and when she go out she lock de door! . . . We 
all alone, you and me ! 

Tiki. All right! There, run along, put out 
those lights for me! Be quick, you've got plenty 
to do. 

[Music and loud drum heating is heard. 

Mee. Ah, say? 

Tiki. Those are the bands going up to the 
temple. . . . That's w^here the procession starts. 
Hurry, Meemee! You know you were told to go 
to bed. 

Mee. Me? . . . Me stay to help you, Tiki. . . . 
(Looks over his shoulder.) Dat de seclet? 



44 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Tiki, Yes. 

Mee. Oh, Tiki, you stealin' de picture? 

Tiki. Stealing it? No, silly! Tm only copy- 
ing it, just one little bit of it at a time. 

Mee, Oh, Tiki, it de velly exact same ting! 

Tiki, Hah! that's all you can see! Ah, if only 
it were! {He starts mixing colors,) I've been 
thinking, Meemee, of what you said to-day about 
having to marry Yunglangtsi. ... 

Mee, Ye-es? 

Tiki, Marrying you is going to make him a 
great artist? 

Mee, Dat what de star say. 

Tiki, Well, you know, Meemee, you mayn't like 
him — but it must be a fine thing to be the wife of 
a great artist. 

Mee. (doubtfully), H'm. f 

Tiki, You'd be very proud of him. 

Mee, H'm. 

Tiki, You'd hear people say such fine things 
about him — about his pictures, I mean. 

Mee. H'm. 

Tiki. And then, you see, they'd say it all came 
from his marrying yoti. 

Mee. Ugh! He never tell dem not'ing 'bout 
dat ! . . . He keep dat to himseli . . . fo' fear dat 
some w^ise man come an' steal me ; an' den me teach 
him to paint better dan he can. 

Tiki, Oh! so you think you could teach paint- 
ing? 

Mee. Oh, yes! dat quite easy ting — jus' to 
paint ! 

\_Adakes an imaginary flourish of the 
brush. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 45 

Tiki. Ah! that shows how httle you know. 
Now I dare say you think that is nothing but a piece 
of rice paper or silk or Hnen with paint spread 
over it? 

Mee. Oh, ye-es ! And all de poo' man's wasted 
time ! I know — go on ! 

Tiki, Yes! Wasted time! That is what every 

one, 
Who's not an artist thinks, when it is done! 
But really — truly — if they had but eyes! 
Yonder lie glimpses of a paradise 
That is all round us; but that they can't see! 
We are all prisoners, under lock and key, 
Bereft of light — until some painter soul 
Comes with great love and labor, and cuts a hole 
Through the thick wall, and shows all fresh and 

fair 
A heaven of living beauty waiting there 
It's call to earth ! Waiting : and we- — stand dumb ! 

Mee. What silly heaven dat is! Why wait? 
We want, we want — and it wait! 

Tiki. If we called loud enough for it, it would 

come ! 
Look, Meemee, look! This picture is the gate 
Of a new world! . . . Oh, if you could but see! 
In there is Life, magic, any mystery! — 
It moves ... it breathes ... it changes 

l^Pause. 
There sometimes, Meemee — 
Sometimes when I am here alone at night, 
I have seen all that garden change its light — 
Sunlight to moonlight; I can see the flowers 
Close their bright eyes; and into those dim bowers 
Lo, like a whispered word. 



46 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Comes sleep; and every bird, 

That with upHfted throat now seems to make 

Those treetops shake, 

Stops with a will to let full silence flow. 

All, all looks still . . . and yet I know . . . 

Something with power to break 

The spell stands there . . . awake! 

Well, now Tve told you and how much of it 
do you understand, I wonder ! There ! Off you 
run to bed like a good little girl. Em going to 
be busy. Good night. . . . Why aren't you gone, 
Meemee ? 

Mee. Mrs. High-Mighty tell you to go to bed 
— you sit up still ; why not Meemee sit up, too ? 

Tiki, Oh, well. Eve got something to do. 

Mee. Flaps you not de only person got some- 
thing to do. . . . You not want me . . . plaps me 
w^ant meself. . . . (Music passes. Meemee moves 
to it.) Oh, de music! . . . Say, s'all I sing to 
you? 

Tiki {indifferently). Oh — yes — if you like. 

Mee. H'm . . . yes. You like me to tell you 
all about myself. 

Tiki. Yes ... oh, yes . . . that ought to be 
. . . quite ... amusing. 

[^He speaks absent-mindedly. 

Mee. Music, stop all dat noise! . . . Dey stop. 
. . . Ah, now . . . ah, now ... 

[She speaks to music that belongs to her 
song alone, till the outer music again 
breaks in. 

Meemee orphan from far off Ian' : 
Meemee's fader was great big man! — 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 



47 



So big — so ! He long ago 
Die — leave me not know where to go! 
Heigho! so — 

IMusic breaks in. 



Give me chance, me laugh, me sing, 
See now, ah? — Ting-a-ting — Ting-a-ting! 



Say! Isn't dat pletty — what? 



[^Speaks. 



Meemee wise ; wise mo'n you ! 

Got two eyes — mos' good as new — 
See dere, eh? Lef\ right; say 
What color in dem dey got to-day? 

How you hope? — s'all dey ope, s'all dey wink? 

You not care, eh ? You no' tink ? 

ISpeaks. 

Say! Isn't dat pletty — what? 

Got no mother — never had none — 
Got no brother, an' don' want one, 
No little sis' — nobody to kiss — 
Nobody to miss me — nobody to miss. 
Heigho ! — so — 
Nowhere else to go ! 
See — dat jus' de way dat I come here. 
Seven year ago — a long seven year! 
Oh, dear! 

\_Speaks, 

Say! Isn't dat pletty — what? 

Tiki. Oh, how can / tell, Meemee! I haven't 
got eyes in the back of my head. Can't you see 
I'm busy? 



48 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Mee, Dat what all de wicked people say. Dey 
say dey'm busy — dey mean dey don' carel . . . 
You don't care. . . . Don' tink Meemee care, 
neither. . . . Sure not! . . . (Goes and looks ma- 
liciously over his shoidder,) You got dat drawn 
— all wrong \ 

\_Turns away. 

Tiki, Where, Meemee? Tell me! 

Mee, (laughing to herself), Don' know. She 
got no eyes in de back of her head ! 

Tiki, But show me, Meemee, show me! 

Mee, Ugh! (Relenting and turning to sweet 
flattery, ) Ah ! say, isn't dat pletty — what ? 

Tiki, Pretty! Meemee, don't you ever dare to 
call anything that / paint pretty! It's only quite 
silly things that are pretty — colored toys and wax 
dolls and paper kites and fat babies, so long as they 
don't cry, and foolish little girls who sit and chat • 
ter, but know nothing whatever about Art! . . . 
Oh, they are as pretty as you like . . . but they 
are all littler than the littlest thing / ever mean to 
do ... so there! 

Mee, M'm ? . . . say dat ? . . . Den you know 
noting, noting ! You no' never be big till you been 
little first — littler dan me, littler dan de littlest 
babby dat ever cly fo' its mammy to come! Yes! 
Foolish chattering little gels what don't know 
noting 'bout Art — dey's bigger inside dan you 
know! Dey's bigger pains — dey's bigger hearts — 
dey's bigger upside-down inside-out altogedder dan 
anyt'ing you know 'bout. It's too busy 'bout itself! 
. . . So's Meemee — too busy, . . . Me goin' now. 
• • • Goo' night! j.^^.^ 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 49 

Tiki. She's right! She's right! That chatter- 
ing Httle idiot is right! . . . Yes, it's too busy! 
It's all too flat, too tight! Oh, Wiowani, if only 
I had you here at my hand to teach me what to do ! 

[Sighs, 

[Procession passes, with lights, music, 
song '' China's burning, etc.,'' and the 
multitudinous babble of a festive 
crowd. The popping of Hrezvorks is 
heard, sticks are rattled along the 
wall. TiKiPU paints on, absorbed in 
his art. The crowd and its noises 
trickle away. 

Tiki. Oh, I'm too good, Wiowani! I'm no 
good! 
Just now I thought that no one understood 
So well as I. . . . But this — it's all too flat! 
Too tight, too stuffy ! 

How did you do that! 
That isn't paint — that's — oh! how is it done — 
It's sunlight — I mean moonlight, no — no — sun — 
Wiowani, is it moonlight or sunlight? Oh! 
How am I to paint it if I do not know? 
Ah, how you beat me! How can I recall 
The beauty and the mystery of it all! 

\_He goes and examines the picture. 

Oh ! is that it ? Yes, yes, I see ! How strange ! 
Is it the painting, or my eyes that change? 
Or is it that Divinity dwells here. 
And in my darkness makes a light shine clear? 



so THE CHINESE LANTERN 

O Wiowani, Wisdom born of old, 

Soon shall I learn thy way! 

Thy light shall guide me, and thy hand shall hold; 

[Olangtsi slides open the door. 

And some day men shall point to me and say, 

\^Enter Olangtsi. 

*' There goes the little painter, in whose brain 

Great Wiowani brought to life again - 

The art of ancient days ! '' 

So shall they speak in Wiowani's praise 

While praising me! 

Oh, Wiowani, say! When shall it be? 

[Olangtsi creeps forward and peers over 
TiKiPu's shoulder. At sight of the 
drawing he gives a start of astonish- 
ment and utters an angry cry of stu- 
pefied rage. 

Olang. Oh! 

[TiKiPU jerks up his hands, drops his 
brush, and turns to find himself dis- 
covered. He attempts to conceal his 
drawing by reversing it upon his 
knees. 

[He takes Tikipu by the scruff and 
shakes him. Tikipu shows him the 
drawing. 

So, little thief, at last you have been caught! 
What thief — what great thief in the night has 

taught 
You to steal — like this? ... 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 51 

Tiki. Master, I have not stolen, that is not true ! 

Olang. Not stolen? Oh! so this belongs to 
you? 
Whose is that paint, whose candles do you burn? 
First you steal these ; and then with these in turn 
You come by stealth and rob me of my Art ! 

Tiki. How do I rob you, when I take no part 
Of what is yours ? Indeed, I have no skill ! 
This counts for nothing; but some day it will — 
Perhaps — when I have learned! 

Olang. You learn! How dare you say 
That you will learn? How have you found the 

way 
To learn at all? Tell me that! Tell me that! 

Tiki. Oh, it is nothing to be angry at! 
I only listened. Master, while you taught 
Others the way; and while you spoke you brought 
New wisdom to my brain, and have my hand 
The craftsman's cunning — for you understand 
The meanings of the mystery they spurn — 
And as I listened, I could not choose but learn ! 

Olang. What right had you to listen? What 
right, I say. 
To make your profit where others had to pay? 
Yours is a hireling's place; you were brought here 
To rub, scrub, and run errands! And you dare 
Come prying into the privacies of Art, 
The Art of Wiowani — which stands apart 
Sacred and secret, its traditions known 
And practiced by my family alone? 
You play the spy! You come by night; you spoil 
My paper, take my tools, and burn my oil — 
Stealing my Book of Beauty leaf by leaf — 
And yet you dare to say you are no thief! 



52 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Tiki As a starving man reaches his hand for 
bread, 
So in my darkness I reached out for these! 
Master, the hunger was too strong — the dread 
Of Beauty drove me! For her fierce decrees 
Man must obey, albeit to his own doom! 
Her law brings bondage; where her feet find room 
Her hand holds sway ; she tears that it may bleed 
The heart which follows her, and every need 
Of man's frail flesh she takes and turns to scorn ! 
Who worships her, by him is sackcloth worn. 
And on his head she sets no crown of joy. 
But ashes only — symbol to be borne. 
If you betray her, how she will — destroy ! 

Olang. Tiki, you know that I have always been. 
Been a kind master to you. . . . 

Tiki, {doiihtfully) . Oh, ye-es! 

Olang. ' I mean, 

I have never beaten you. Tiki, not enough 
To hurt; I have not starved you or been rough 
To you. . . . Have I, Tiki? . . . No. ... My 

mind was bent 
Kindly toward you. ... I had always meant 
To help you. ... 

Tiki. Help me? 

Olang. Why were you not content 
To wait? ... 

Tiki. To help me? Oh, if that were true. 
Master, there's nothing Td not do 
In bondage for your sake! Yes, you may take 
All that I have; all I can ever earn. 
Of fame or fortune, so you'll let me learn 
To be a painter! And you need not give 
Me anything — just the bare means to live; 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 53 

Enough to keep 

Body and soul together! I want no sleep, 

No warmth, no comfort of any kind, no part 

In anything except the joy of art — 

Of art! 

Olang. Listen to me! Why do you interrupt 
While I am speaking? I was saying — yes, yes, 
That I had always intended, more or less, 
When you had served your time here and been paid, 
To help you to some business or trade 
Suited to your capacities and your class. 
Now for this once I am willing to let pass 
The gross deception of your conduct here — 
And as your mind is evidently not clear 
About the future, I am prepared, I say. 
To give you now, without further delay, 
The means of making — if you wish — a start 
Upon your own account which, for my part, 
I think w411 — suit you. . . . This, this, as you see, 
Is the certificate of grocery 
Which my own son, who, as you know, desires 
To be a painter, now no more requires. 
With this you can be a grocer — on condition 
That you do not presume in that position 
To practice, meddle, or take any part 
Nefariously in processes of art 
Which you don't understand — and never will. . . . 
You will find there a space where you can fill 
Your name in. . . . There! ... I call that — do 
not you? — 

\^He hangs certificate round Tikipu's 
neck. 
A very handsome offer, Tikipu. . . . 
What do you say? 



54 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Tiki, Master, dear Master, oh! 

You do not mean what you are saying ! No, no ! 
Ah, tell me! though my work means little yet, 
Has it no promise . . . None? Do you forget 
How you, too, learned — and did things — oh! not 

well — 
But each time, as a child that learns to spell, 
Your hand became more sure, until it caught 
The kindling fire ! And then you had no thought 
Of fame or money, or what the world might say, 
But only of Beauty and the joy that lay 
There in your hands — the joy of giving birth 
To form! . . . And then, had anyone on earth 
Bade you stop painting — would you not have said — 
*' To win your wish first you must strike me dead ! " 

Olang. You chattering little devil, you drivel- 
ing brat ! 
How dare you mock at me with your mouth like 

that ! 
Swear by your father's dust, never to lay 
Finger on paint again, or lift a hand 
To mock at things you do not understand. 
Swear it, I say! 

Tiki. Oh, if I did, that dust out of the grave 
Should rise and choke me! No, were I your slave, 
I'd keep my birthright! To possess that prize 
You must cut off these hands, put out these eyes, 
Drain me of blood, and draw me limb from limb! 
For it is Wiowani, 'tis from him 
That I get strength; 'tis Wiowani who 
Now stands in judgment betwixt me and you! 

Olang, Some Devil has made you say that! 
Some Devil, I say! 
What? So you think yourself worth saving, eh? 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 55 

Worth having, eh! Worth teaching? Do you 

dream 
rd let a thing hke that, a tricked-out scheme, 
A muddy smear, a smudge of chalk and cheese, 
A daub, a patch, a paint scab, a disease, 
A niggled lie, a forger's fraud — go hence 
Out of my studio to breed pestilence ? 
No, I will not! 'Tis treason if I spare! 
Let go, let go! That finishes it! — 
So there! 

\_He tears the drawing into fragments 
and throws them down. Tikipu 
screams with anguish and falls face 
forward, clutching the torn pieces. 

Get up, you blubbering booby! don't lie there 
Biting the boards up! Now you've got to swear! 
Give me your oath! What? So you're stubborn 

still? 
Wait, we'll soon make you! — If I can't she will! 

\^Exit into house, 

[For a time Tikipu lies sobbing. Pres- 
ently he half rises, and gathers to- 
gether the torn fragments of his 
drawing; he falls down again with 
a cry of despair. 

Tiki. He had no pity, no pity on me at all ! 
Wiowani ! Oh, it is no use to call ! 
Nobody cares ! Nobody hears my cry ! 
Oh, I have failed ! Wiowani, let me die ! 
Oh, let me die! 

[/n the picture the lantern begins to glow; 
under its rays the grave and benig- 



56 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

nant form of Wiowani is discovered 
seated. Tikipu raises his head, for 
in the music he hears the call of his 
soul. He catches sight of Wiowani, 
and starts to his knees with an ex- 
clamation of wonder. Wiowani 
lifts his hand in beckoning. Tikipu 
rises and advances slowly in trem- 
bling ecstasy. Wiowani reaches for- 
zvard and takes Tikipu by the hand. 
With a long-drawn sigh of relief and 
rest Tikipu is drawn into the pic- 
ture. The lantern fades. Wiowani 
and Tikipu disappear. 

[Outside is heard the chorus of approach- 
ing Students. 

Mew-cats, mew-cats, all fit and fat! 
Mew-cats, mew-cats, what have you been at? 
We've been out, round about quite long enough. 
Catch your catch and home again! Phit! Phat! 

[Enter Meemee, running. 

Mee. Tiki ! Tiki — dey come back ! He in dere 
talking to Mrs. Back-of-de-house ! Go hidee — 
quick! . . . Tiki, where is you gone to? 

[She runs about and looks. Outside the 
chorus of returning Students is 
heard again. They are evidently 
drunk. 

Mew-cash, mew-cash, all fit and fat, 
Mew-cash, mew-cash, wha'sh you been at? 
We've been out, roun' 'bout, qui shlong 'nough. 
Cash, cash, an' cash again, fiff! fufif! fufif! 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 57 

Yung, (zvithotit). I want to go home to bed! 

Teep, {without). If you want to go to bed, we 
must tosh you and turn you! Up with him! 
Whup! 

Yung, {without). Put me down! Put me 
down, I tell you! 

[Laughter and general smash, 

Mee, Tiki? 

[Enter Yunglangtsi ; he trails in, hardly 
able to speak for sleepiness, 

Yung, I want to go to bed, Meemee . . . 
where's mother? 

Mee, {coming on fallen easel and torn paper). 
Ah, say! Who done dat? Who done dat wicked 
ting? 

Yung, They did, Meemee ! When I said " put 
me down," those devils they tossed me. But they 
all fell down, Meemee, and then I was on the top. 

Mee, Tiki ! 

[Enter Teepee, the others following. 

Teep, Hon'ble Yunglang-shy wants you to put 
him to bed. Meemee, I wantsh, I wantsh to be put 
to bed too, Meemee! Not de shante bed — don't 
you go making a mishtake. No — I wouldn't 

Natit, What are you sitting up for, Meemee? 

Lilong, What are you crying for? 

Hiti, She's crying because she's finished all 
those sweets we gave her. . . . But you mustn't 
have any more, Meemee, they'd be bad for you! 

[Enter Mr. and Mrs. Olangtsi. 

Mrs, 0. Make him? Of course I'll make him! 
Where have you put him to? 



58 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Mee. Put him too ? Oh ! 

[^She becomes full of terror and appre- 
hension, 

Yung. Mother, I want to go to bed. 

Mrs, O. Where's Tikipu? 

Yiing, Mother, when I said put me down, those 
devils they tossed me! 

Mrs. 0. Who has seen Tikipu? 

Hank. Sheen Tikipu? Who wantsh to shee 
Tikipu? Mother of Mountains, don't ashk such 
'diculous questions! 

Olang. But you must have seen him; he was 
here a moment ago! 

Lilong, Don't shay he wasn't here momen-ago. 
If he wash here momen-ago — that's why he isn't 
here now — momen-ago'sh over. 

Mrs. O. Has he gone out? Did you meet him 
in the street? 

Teep. Meet him in the street! Why should we 
meet him in the street? He didn't ashk us to meet 
him in the street ! Why should we meet him in the 
shtreet if he didn't ask us? 

Mrs. Olang. Well, don't all stand gaping there ! 
Go out and look for him! 

Olang. He's not gone out. There are his shoes. 

Mee. Oh-h-h! Tiki, what have dey done to 
you? Where have dey put you to. Tiki? 

[She picks up shoes, looks inside them, 
and fondles them. 

Mrs. O. Go and look in the house, one of you! 

[^Exit Student. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 59 

Olang, Perhaps he's hiding in the roof. Go up 
and see! 

Mrs, O. Go and look in the cellar! 

Hiti. Yesh ho ! Don't shtand talking — go ! Go 
to the top of the house, go to the bottom of the 
house, go to Mrs. Back-of-the-house, and go to the 
devil! (Mrs. O. cuffs him.) Shan't help you to 
look for him any more now. 

[Exit with stately deliberation. 

Student (from house). He's not in the house! 
Mrs. Tip-top-shtory-teller has made a mistake. 

Olang. Ah! where is it? Where has he put it 
to ? Have you seen 

Student (from roof). He's not up here! 

Student (from cellar trap). He's not down here 
— he's not — I'm sure he's not down 

\_Slips through trap, catches second Stu- 
dent by the ankles and draws him 
after. 

Olang. Have you seen — (Second Student 
catches third Student by hands and pulls him 
down headforemost.) Have you seen ? 

Mee. Oh, Tiki! Is you not anywhere? What 
have become of you, Tiki? 

Student (clinging to doorpost and zvaving hand 
aimlessly). He's not out here! 

Olang. The thief! The thief! He has run off 
with it! 

Mrs. 0. With what? 

Olang. I gave it him to — to keep safe — I re- 
member now — before I went out! 

Mrs. 0. Gave him what? 



6o THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Olang, Why, the certificate, of course! What 
else? Your son's certificate of grocery! Ah, fool 
that I was! Fool! 

Yung. My — my certificate? 

Olang, Yes — he has taken it! 

Yung, Boohoo! My beautiful — my beautiful 
certificate. You let him take it because you didn't 
want me to be a grocer ! I hate you, father ! Boo- 
hoo! Mother, take me to bed! 

Student (in doorway). I know where he ish — 
he'sh behind that picture. 

Olang, Ah, yes, behind the picture! Bring him 
out! Bring him out! 

Students, No — he's not there ! Nothing's there ! 
'Shtificate's not there, either! 

Yung, Boohoo ! 

Mrs, O, There, there, don't fret. We'll get 
you another, just like it. There, don't cry! 

[Exit Mrs. Olangtsi and Yunglangtsi 
into house, 

[Students link arms and cross the stage 
staggering. 

Students, My — my — my beautiful 'shtificate. 
... I hate you, father ! Boohoo ! Good night ! . . . 

[They push Student from doorpost and 
go out, 

Olang, Oh, fool ! Fool ! Fool ! Why, why did 
I . . . not . . . spare? (Meemee holds up torn 
fragments of picture to Olangtsi. He strikes 
them down with a cry of rage.) No! I will not! 
That finishes it. So there! 

[Exit. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 6i 

\_The truth dazvns on Meemee. She ut- 
ters a cry. 

Mee, Oh ! dat kill Tiki ! Dat kill— dat make 
him hate evellybody! Hate me now, always, al- 
ways! He never speak to me! He never look at 
me again. He never come back — now. He gone! 
He gone! . . . Oh, Tiki, dey broken yo' heart all 
to pieces! Meemee know dat! Meemee under- 
stand! 

[She gathers torn pieces to her breast, 
kissing them. 



CURTAIN 



ACT III 

Scene: The studio before dawn, Meemee lies 
asleep on a mat in front of the picture. Out- 
side a shuffling step is heard, and a sheeplike 
coughing, A dull lantern light passes along 
the street wall. Knocking, 

Mee, Who dat? {She scuffles up and goes to 
the door,) Josi Mosi, dat you? 

[Opens door, 

Josi, Yesh, dat'sh me. (He enters,) Nobody 
up yet? 

\_He sets down the lantern, 

Mee. No . . . dey all asleep ... so airly! 
Say! you blouglit dat liir ting I toF you? 

Josi, Yesh, Fve got it! 

Mee. Sha ! 

Josi. What you want it for ... eh? 

Mee, Ugh! . . . meself of course! . . . Me 
sleep in here. . . . Al de big livelong rats come 
in de night and wake me! . . . Dey run on my 

toes . . . dey sit on my face Not nice 

ting dat, eh? 

Josi, Have you got de money? 

Mee, Yah! . . . {Fumbles in sleeve,) Dere 
now! {Gives him the money.) No say dat all 
right ? 
62 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 63 

Josi {counting it). Dat'sh all right. 

[^He gives her a small vial, 

Mee, Oh! . . . dat all! Dat not e-nough! 
Dere's plenty twenty hundred rats in here. . . . 
Take a lot of killing, dey will! 

Josi, Dat 'ud kill five hundred, dat would! 

Mee, Kill me, too? 

Josi. Kill de whole lot of you. 

Mee. (satisfied). Ah! 

Josi. So dey put you to shleep in here now, eh? 
Dat boy Tikipu never been sheen again, I shup- 
pose? 

Mee. (startled) . What for you ask me dat now ? 
. . . No ... he not come. 

Josi. M'm . . . reashon I ashk wash becosh 
dish is de very day he went — three yearsh ago. . . . 
Feasht of Lanternsh it wash. I've a reashon for re- 
membering de date. 

Mee, So? 

Josi. It wash to-day. . . . What'sh dat? . . . 
Who's dat dere? 

[Enter Olangtsi in sleeping attire. 

Mee. Ssh ! It Mr. Olangtsi ... he velly often 
come like dat ... to de picture. . . . He not 
know any ting about it when he wake up ! Ssh ! 

Olang. Ugh! Ugh! . . . Yes, yes . . . where 
was I? ... I don't want you, my dear! ... Go 
away! . . . You . . . you w^ouldn't understand! 
. . . Gen . . . gentle . . . gentlemen pupils . . . 
your immediate and polite attention! . . . On this 
very painful occasion when I address you for the 
last time . . . and this great picture of Wiowani's 



64 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

which here stands before you . . . for the last time. 
... I ask you, I ask you, for the last time . . . 
your kind attention, gentlemen! . . . No, no. . . . 
I am not forgetting myself my dear, at all! ... I 
am remembering what I once was . . . before you 
. . . before you came and robbed me! . . . Yes, 
you did — you robbed me! . . . like a thief in the 
night ; first you robbed me of my sleep, then of 
my liberty, then of my conscience . . . and then, 
then of my art! Tikipu found out that for me! 
. . . And now everything is gone! 

Josi. What'sh all dish mean? 

Mee. He want Tikipu to come back, me tink. 
. . . He velly unhappy! 

Olang, What thief, what great thief in the night 
taught you to steal . . . like that? . . . Oh, thief, 
thief, little thief ! give it to me, give it to me, I say. 
There! There! . . . that finishes it! . . . that's 
done, Tikipu, that's done! 

Mee. (with enlightenment and pity). Oh! 

Olang. Don't cry, Tikipu . . . it's no use your 
crying like that! . . . Ah, that's good, that's good 
. . . but you mustn't paint like that any more. . . . 
It's not . . . it's not possible. She won't let you 
. . . it doesn't pay. . . . And if it doesn't pay, it's 
no good! 

Josi. No, he'sh right dere; if it doesn't pay, 
it'sh no good ! You know, little Mish Meemee, you 
going to have a new master to-day? 

Mee. How you know dat? How you know 
dat? 

Josi. Cosh I do know^ . . . it's de right day for 
it. . . . He knowsh dat, too. 

[^Nods to Olangtsi. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 65 

Mee. Den you know velly foolish ting, Mr. Josi 
Mosi, if you tink dat! Me not have no new mas- 
ter ! So clere ! . . . Dis kill so manv rat : it will 
kill me, too! 

Josi. ]Meemee, you give me dat back! 
. Mee. Noh ! 

Josi. Give it me back, I shay. 

l^He tries to take bottle. 
Mee. Noh ! 

Josi. If you don't give it me I — I 

Mee. Don't you totieh me! Don' you dare to 
come near me! 

Voiee (without). Yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-eh ? 
[A quick step goes hy and a wand taps 
along the wall. 

Mee. Ah ! 
Josi. What'sh dat! 

Mee. De watchman . . . '' evellybody wake 
up ! " he say. . . . You go ! 
Josi. You give me dat firsht! 

[Pursnes her. 

Mrs. O. (zvithin). Meemee, Meemee! You 
awake ! 

Mee. H'm, ya-ah! . . . Oh, ye-es! Almost 
quite awake now! . . . You go! . . . You gott'n 
yo' money — ^you go! 

Mrs. 0. (zvithin). Get up, then; come quick, I 
want you! 

Olang. Eh! Eh? Yes, my dear, Tm coming! 
Fm coming! 

Josi. Cosi! I must fetch Cosi! 



66 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Mee. Yah ! 

[Exit Josi Mosi in haste. 

Olang, Yes, yes, I was meaning to come. It 
was — it was only for the last time! 

[Exit Olangtsi. 

[Enter Mrs. Olangtsi with light and 
bridal costume, 

Mrs, 0. What are you doing — so slow when I 
call? 

jMee, Only jus' to open de door! 

Mrs, O. Don't want it open! Shut it! . . . 
Who's been in here? 

[Looks round suspiciously. 

Mee. It was a big rat dat would' go out! . . . 
Me told him you comin' ; den he run on his hin' 
legs jus' like a man! 

[Starts to pull up blinds, 

Mrs, O. Here! Begin to get yourself dressed, 
or you'll be late! . . . There are your things. . . . 
{She lays bridal costume on chair,) Now attend 
to me and learn how a Chinese bride should behave. 

Mee, Be-have ? 

Mrs. O. In a quarter of an hour — are you at- 
tending? — the bridesmen and the bearers will be 
here with the palanquin. As soon as you hear 
them outside you are to run in there and lock the 
door. 

Mee. Dat door? 

Mrs, O. Yes, that door; there isn't any other 
that I know of. . . . Don't lock it so much that 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 67 

they can't force it without breaking it! ... I don't 
want to be paying for repairs afterwards, you aren't 
worth it! 

Mee, Leave it open, den? 

Mrs, O, Open? Fine sense of modesty you've 
got ! . . . Please to recollect that you are a Chinese 
bride; you do as I tell you! Pull up that blind! 
Then, when they fetch you out, you must struggle 
— d'you hear ? Kick, bite, scratch. . . . Only mind 
you don't tear the dress! Do it decently; give one 
of them a scratch on his face where it can be seen, 
that'll be enough. If you show too much fight it 
looks like having too high an opinion of yourself. 
. . . When they've put you into the palanquin and 
locked you in — then you can do as you like. 

Mee, So? 

Mrs. O. Remember — the bride's procession is to 
start at sunrise; mind you are ready! 

Mee. Hon'ble Mistless, at sunrise? Dat velly 
airly — dat not too soon, eh? 

Mrs, O, Not if I say it's the time you are to 
be ready by. . . . When you want your bride-crown 
pinned on, come to me. 

Mee. My bride crown? Oh, yes! . . . Say! 
. . . When dey put me in my lill' chair — palanquin 
— will all de blin's be down? No one to see me? 

Mrs. O. Of course not. Who wants to see you? 
Here, go on and get dressed! You are wasting 
time. 

[Exit Mrs. Olangtsi. 

Mee. Yes — me wasting time! {Pulling up 
blind.) Silly dat! . . . Nobody want to see me? 
. . . No . . . nobody! Oh, run, Meemee, dere's 



68 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

de worl' wakinM {She opens door and peeps out,) 
Oh, gleat, big worF, wake up! . . . Meemee say 
good-by to you! . . . Oh, de lazy sun, all down 
dere, you not come up yet ! . . . Meemee say good- 
by to you! . . . And nex' time dat he come, you 
tell Tiki, you tell Tiki — Meemee gone jus' 'cause 
she couldn't wait fo' him . . . any mo' ! . . . Dat's 
all. . . . You all been velly, velly nice to me! . . . 
Good-by! . . . 

[^She shuts the door and stands half trem- 
bling, looking at vial, facing the 
thought of death. Crossing the stage 
she comes on the bridal array left by 
Mrs. Olangtsi. 

Oh, pletty, eh? Oh! Say! isn't dat nice? What? 
. . . Quick, quick, Meemee! {She begins to robe 
herself,) Yes, quick! Yes, quick! Yes, quick! 
{Puts on shoes.) Lef, right, get dem all on! 
Dere! dat all right, eh? . . . {Opens toilet box and 
gets out mirror and paints.) Now, Meemee, you 
got to make yo'self mos' beautiful — because to-day, 
you say — you say you goin' to be mallied to Tiki. 
And dat make you so glad, dat make you so happy, 
dat you laugh, an' laugh, an' laugh till all de tears 
come into yo' eyes! You velly silly little gel, you! 
. . . {She dries her eyes and takes up mirror.) 
Look at yo'self! Hee-hee! {She turns the glass 
about and knocks on the back of it.) Meemee? 
Meemee? You round dere? You roimd dere? 
. . . Right in dere? {Turns it.) 'Course I is! 
She in dere all de time! Catch her not? . . . No 
. . . no . . . she dere, I say she dere ! . . . He say 



THE CHINESE Lx\NTERN 69 

once — he say '' silly \i\V gel know nothing 'bout 
art ! '' Ah, ha ! Himself he know nothing, nothing 
— at all! . . . Himself! . . . Tiki, dat went away 
and never come back ! 

\_She produces from secret hiding the shoes 
which TiKiPU left behind. 

Meemee, Meemee know not where 

He gone ... he gone! 
He not here! He not dere! 

[She looks into her pozvder boxes and at 
the shoes. 

No use looking anywhere! 

He gone! 
Every day, sin' dey say 
He gone an' not come back — 
Meemee wait — still he stay. 
Meemee hope, Meemee pray. 
All Meemee's hair gone gray! 

Dat's a fac' ! 

{Looks at herself in glass and continues talking.) 

Onlv jus' now it don't show — dat's all whv she 
can't see it. (She puts out light. Within the 
house are heard the voices of Mr. and Mrs. Olang- 
TSi raised in altercations and Yunglaxgtsi crying, 
'' I don't want to get up! '' As Meemee listens her 
resolution is formed.) Don' you waste time, Mee- 
mee! — don' you waste time! Soon dey come — to 
take you away from yo'self. You say not'ing to 
dat. . . . You only be here ... let dem tind you 
here, eh? ... let dem see you not belong to dem 
at all . . . you belong . . . all . . . to . . . yo'- 
self . . . because Tiki have fo'gotten you! {She 



70 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

takes the vial of poison from her breast,) Goo'- 
by, Meemee! . . . Goo'by . . . goo' . . . 

[While she has been speaking the picture 
glozvs slowly into life. Under the 
rays of the lantern Wiowani is dis- 
covered seated, benignant of aspect. 
He plucks three times upon the 
strings of his guitar. At the third 
sound Meemee's attention is ar- 
rested; she shiMes the poison out of 
sight and turns her head. 

Mee. (zvith childlike curiosity). H'm? . . . 
How you come in dere? 

IVio. Years ago, when youth was spent, 
The door was open, so in I went, 

Mee. Catch yo' foot and trip, eh? . . . Say? 
is it all velly nice in dere? 

Wio. A matter of taste; the view is free. 
You can look for yourself and see. 

Mee. {doubtfully). H'm! ... Is dere anyone 
pletty in dere? 

Wio. Pretty's a word that knows no rule. 
Here we have only the Beautiful. 

Mee. H'm! . . . H'm! ... not pletty'^ 

[Wiowani shakes his head. 

Mee. {very satisfied). Say? . . . Me pletty, 
you no' tink? 

Wio. My eyes have grown too old to see. 
You're too far off . . . come nearer to me! 

Mee. {advancing by degrees). Hee-hee! . . . 
Hee-hee! . . . Tsz! 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 71 

Wio, Nearer . . . nearer. . . . Yes, that will 
do. 
Sit down ! . . . I've been waiting to talk to you. 
Mee, Ya-as ... of course. 

[She squats on dais. 

Wio. Three years I've waited, while time has 
tarried. 
Meemee, when are you going to get married? 

Mee. (stMy). Not goin' to get mallied. 

Wio. Oh, yes, you are ! Tell the truth, Meemee ! 
Come now ! — when is the day to be ? 

Mee. (reluctantly). Well . . . me'd bin hopin' 
dey forget. . . . Dey not ! . . . Las' night de Mis- 
tless say, '' Meemee! " (like dat!) " you gettin' yo'- 
self leddy to mally to-mollow — first ting?" . . . 
{Her voice begins to quaver.) Me gettin' meself 
leddy now. . . . Plesently she come; plesently she 
say, " You wife, you not lill' gel any mo! " 

Wio. And then? 

Mee. And den ! Ah, den me got to die ! 

Wio. Die? When? 

Mee. Me got lill' bottle of '' come-wid-me " in 
here! Hee-hee, hee-hee! , . . Me take it — so; me 
say to my beautiful new husban', '' Yo' health! — yo' 
velly good health ! " . . . den me drink . . . den 
me say, '' How nice ! " Den me die ! . . . Den he 
lef widower. . . . Oh, poo' man! 

Wio. Oh, he'll get over it, bit by bit! 
But what will Tikipu say to it ? 

Mee. Tikipu? Why say Tikipu? Who say? 
Who say? 

Wio. Oh, ves! It's all verv well for vou; 
But what will it mean for Tikipu? 



72 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Mee, Nothing. . . . He forgotten me. 

Wio, Oh, ho? 

Mee, He don' care fo' me. 

Wio. Oh, ho? 

Mee, He don' want me! 

Wio, He didn't you mean, when he went away? 
When he returns — perhaps he may! 

Mee. Ah, say? Ah, say? Oh, gleat, big, beau- 
tiful wise man, you tink dat? 

Wio. And if he does— then, what about you? 
How can you hope to help Tikipu? 

Mee. Ugh! Dat velly easy ting, if he really 
want me. . . . Me say here to myself sometimes : 
" Now, tink, Meemee, tink Tiki come all back 
again! Tink dat you am his wife! . . . Den he 
sit like dis, and he paint, an' you — just sit-an'-wait ! 
. . . plesently he paint — all wrong — got to be closs 
with somebody — of course! Den he closs wid you, 
an' you — jus' sit-an'-wait! . . . Den he paint 'bom- 
inable , . . got to beat somebody . . . beat you, 
eh? . . . Den de picture come — all right! . . . 
Say, isn't dat de way? What? . . . De man dat 
mally me — gleat artis', see? 

Wio. Yes, if he understands, may be. 
Where did you learn all that, Meemee? 

Mee. It all inside of me ! . . . Dat kind of ting 
come all of itself — ^me tink! 

Wio. Ah! That's good! Well, some day you 
Will have to teach that to Tikipu. 
When he returns perhaps you'll find 
Tikipu with an absent mind. 
Wake him tenderly, take him in hand. 
Teach him! Then he will understand. . . . 
There, run along! Yes, go your way, 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 73 

Deck yourself out in bridal array, 
Stick gold bodkins into your head, 
Dab your cheeks with. patches of red. 
Paint your lips like petals of rose, 
Rub your powder-puff over your nose. 
Play the tricks that you know by heart. 
Color your eyes, and call it '' Art/' 
And when you stand, after all is done, 
Crowned like a bride in the sight of the sun. 
Then in your time — call Tikipu! 
And he, if he hears, will come to you ! 

[WiowANi vanishes into picture, 

Mee. (quietly surprised). Say! . . . Funny pic- 
ture dat! Meemee, you been asleep? 

Mrs, O. (zvithin). Now, Meemee! Meemee! 
Meemee ! 

Mee. Oh, ya-as! 

\_She skurries round, collecting her toilet 
materials^ etc, and runs into house. 
Far away bridal music is heard. 
Within the picture goes a murmur 
of soft music. WiowANi reappears, 
leading Tikipu by the hand. Ti- 
kipu steps out of the picture as one 
zvalking in his sleep. 

Wio. So you have come back to the world 

again ! 
There's dawn beginning white against the pane. 
What does life look like? Does the dream seem 

true 
Now you have wakened from it, Tikipu? 
What? Soon from your brain 



74 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

All this dead breath shall melt, as from the pane 
MeTts the white frost! Now if my labor stands, 
Yonder you hold it! — Go and wash your hands! — 
There's too much paint upon them, and the stain 
Of midnight oils. Catch hold on life again, 
Ere it be flown ! You know the tale that's told 
How to my door an Emperor came of old 
And begged, but would not enter. . . . Fortune's 

clown, 
Burdened with power, he durst not lay it down! 
But there's another tale, that's yet to tell. 
Of one that came, and — loving peace too well — 
Would not go out! — indolent and unmoved. 
Gifted with powers he feared to have them proved! 
Chosen of gods, the gods he chose to cheat 
And here sat lapped in rest with folded feet, 
A tranquil traitor, careless of his kind. 
Go — get you gone ! And leave your dreams behind. 
Nay ! What have you done yet to earn the rest 
And peace wherein I dwell? Have your hands 

blest 
Dull clay or caused the moldering dead to wake? 
Have you so starved and striven and toiled to 

make 
Your vision true ; and have you failed and tried. 
And failed and found — only to be denied 
And stand at last a mark for all man's scorn? 
And have you learned that faith is only born 
Out of thick darkness — hope out of despair — 
Love out of hate — and that the world proves fair 
Only through this — the blindness of men's eyes. 
Whereto all Beauty goes for sacrifice? 
Ah, though I speak with tongues, he understands 
Nothing at all! Go, go and wash your hands 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 75 

In life, and live anew! ... 

The world awaits you ! Good-by, Tikipu ! 

[TiKiPU has turned slowly away, gazing 
at his hands in a daze of grief and 
humility, Wiowani vanishes info 
the picture, 
[Reenter Meemee, zvearing her bridal 
crown. Tikipu continues to move 
away, 
Mee, Tiki! . . . Tikipu! 

Tiki. Why, Meemee ... is that you? What 
have you come for? . . . It's . . . it's very early, 
isn't it? ... Is anyone up? Meemee . . . what's 
the matter? . . . You are changed. . . . What has 
happened since yesterday? 
Mee. Since yes'day ? 

Tiki. It was ... it was yesterday, wasn't it? 
Meemee . . . how long have I been away? 

Mee. For tree year, Tiki . . . tree whole 
year. 

Tiki, (dumfounded) . Three y ! 

Mee. You 'shamed of yo'self, Tiki, eh? . . . 
What for you come back now? H'm? . . . Los' 
yo' way, I suppose! 

Tiki. Yes, Meemee . . . it's strange! . . . I've 
. . . I've lost my way! . . . Three years! . . . 
And you are not married yet, Meemee? 

Mee. What dat matter to you, Mr. Tiki? . . . 
No . . . not yet. . . . P'laps dat why you come 
. . . to see me . . . malliedl . . . Well, den . . . 
you jest in time! 

Tiki, {realizing for the first time Meemee'^ bri- 
dal array). Meemee . . . there's something . . . 
I . . . don't understand. 



76 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Mee. Ah, ha! ... So you found dat out! 

Tiki, It's gone! . . . something's gone . . . 
something ... without which . . . I . . . can't Hve! 
Gone ! 

Mee, Ah ! I know what all de matter ! . . . I 
know! Dere! . . . (She brings out Tikipu's 
shoes from hiding place.) You lef yo' gleat big 
shoes behin'. ... I keep dem quite safe . . . all 
de time ! 

\_She kneels, hits first one foot, then the 
other, and puts them on his feet. He 
still stands dazed. 

Tiki. Gone! . . . Oh! where shall I find help 
. . . now'^ 

Mee. Won' Meemee do? Won' Meemee do? 
{He stands disregarding her.) . . . You not want 
me? . . . You not want me, Tiki? . . . Goo'-by. 
I'm going to be mallied to-day . . . yes, to some- 
body . . . my star say to-day, only to-day! . . . 
ol' maid if I don't mally to-day. . . . Goo'-by! 
Ah! Ah! 

[^She breaks into sudden tremblings and 
sobbings. 

[TiKiPU turns and looks at her earnestly; 
round her as she stands the light 
gradually grows bright. . . . She 
stretches her hands pleadingly tozvard 
him for the last time. 

Tiki. Meemee ! Meemee ! What have you done 
to yourself ? . . . Don't look at me like that ! Don't 
look at me like that! . . . Your eyes are beautiful, 
Meemee ! Shut them or I shall go blind ! 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 77 

Mee, Ah! It come! It come! Say, Tiki, you 
is wantin' . . . somebody ... to help you? 

Tiki. My whole Hfe is a want, Meemee! If 
you come with me you will lose everything! 

Mee. I got nothing to lose. Tiki. 

Tiki. You will be hungry ! 

Mee. Tve been hungly for tree years. Tiki. 

Tiki. Homeless — perhaps ! 

Mee. I never had a home. Tiki. 

Tiki. Friendless ! 

Mee. Ah, ha! 

Tiki. Poor ! Poorer than the poorest you have 
known. . . . Look under this . . . this robe. . . . 
(Bewildered to find that he is wearing a strange 
garment.) I have only my old rags. . . . And 
you . . . 

Mee. (showing herself). I jus' de same! 

Tiki. Often I shall neglect you, Meemee; some- 
times I may even forget you! ... for there is 
something I . . . love . . . more than yo.u! . . . 
If you come with me, it is to help me to find eyes 
more wonderful than your own, and a mistress 
whose bond slave you also shall be! 

Mee. She velly beautiful, Tiki? 

Tiki. I have never seen her, Meemee. But in 
your eyes I find the reflection of her face! 

Mee. Den when I shut dem, you no see her — 
at all? 

Tiki. Open them, Meemee! Open your eyes! 
Oh . . . Meemee! 

[He surrenders himself utterly to her 
spell. 

Mee. Tiki ... is you awake? 

Tiki. Yes ! Awake at last ! 



78 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Mee. You been asleep for tree years, eh ? What 

you been dreaming of, Tiki? 

Tiki. I was dreaming of you — all the timel 
Mee. Dat true ? Ah ! What Meemee made for ! 

De man dat mally me . . . gleat . . . ! 

\_As she clings to him, the song of the 
bridal procession is heard approach- 
ing. They start and listen. 

Chorus {without). 

Is the Hly on the lake? 
Is the bride wide awake? 
Here's a party come to take her home ! 
There's a cozy bed to make, 
There's a rosy cake to bake, 
And there's honey, too, to take from the comb. 
Mee. Now dey comin' fo' me! 
Tiki. They shan't have you, Meemee! Quick, 
let us go! 

[Knocking is heard without. 

Mee. No, no ... it too late now! . . . Go, 
hidee. Tiki, go hidee! 
Tiki. In here! 

[They run into pantry. 

[Enter Students and Apprentices, fol- 
lowed by bearers with hooded palan- 
quin, which is set down propped on 
stools in the center of the stage. 

Oh, who will go inside? 
Oh, who will bring the bride, 
For the knot to be tied as it ought? 
Give a rat-tat-tat-tat-tat ! 
If she doesn't come for that. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 79 

Then the naughty Httle cat must be caught. 

Phit, phat, miaow! Phit, phat, miaow! 

Then the naughty Httle cat must be caught! 

New, Well, and which of all the blushing doors 
is the right one? 

Lilong, That's the one! 

Hiti, Teepee, you and I are the adopted rela- 
tives; we've got to defend it. 

[Takes up attitude of defense before door, 

Hiti, Scarecrows avaunt! 
I say you shan't 
Intrude! It's rude 

And most improper! 

Teep, Robbers beware! 
This, damsel fair 
Who steals — by heels 

He comes a cropper. 

[Plants his foot in Lilong's stomach and 
floors him, 

Lilong (from floor). Oh, put aside 
Your family pride! 
Our suit denied 

Deride no more! 

Hank. Let her decide 
With us to ride! 

All, Come, bride, bride, bride! 

Undo the door! . . . 
Bride! come along, bride! Door, door, door! 

Naut, Why, she hasn't locked it! 

New, Laws of Confucius! What a fuss all 
about nothing! 

[They advance to the door. 



8o THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Lilong. Take care! She'll scratch you! She's 
waiting behind the door ! 

Hank, Fetch her out! Nautee, fetch her out! 

[He pushes Nautee into the inner cham- 
ber, 

Hiti, Have his blood, Meemee ! Have his blood ! 
Nant, Why, she isn't here at all! 
Hiti, Her feet have beat a modest retreat! 
Teep, You'd better have proof she's not in the 
roof ! 

[They all run in. 

Students (within). In the roof? Fetch her 
out ! 

Oh, there isn't a doubt 
She is somewhere about! 

[Quick ascent of ladder is heard. 

We are looking for proof 

That's she's not in the roof 
Sing the catch of the cat and the mouse! 

If she isn't up there, 

Why, then, I declare 
She is hiding herself in the house. 

[Meanwhile Tikipu and Meemee have 
been trying to steal to the street door; 
as each attempt fails they retreat pre- 
cipitately. Immediately on exit of 
Hiti and Teepee^ Meemee runs 
across to the door, reverses the key, 
and locks it from the outside. 

Mee. Now, Tiki, quick, quick, quick! 

She throzvs off bride dress onto floor. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 8i 

Tiki. They are coming back, Meemee! 

Mee. No — not yet! . . . Silly man — make me 
do it all ! How you able to run and hide in all dis ? 
(She pulls off his robe, uncovering the certificate 
which hangs down his back.) Oh! Tiki, dat what 
you stole? (Tikipu takes it and stares astonished; 
presently his zvonder changes to laughter.) Tiki, 
don' laugh like dat! You wastin' time! 

Tiki. Oh, now I know what I have done ! 
I'm a thief, Meemee! I must run! 
Poor Yunglangtsi ! There, let it stay ! 
I'm a much bigger thief to-day; 
I'm stealing youl 

\_Knocking at inner door. Tikipu throzvs 
open the street door; the wmm hues 
of dawn stream in. 

Tiki. Dawn, Meemee, dawn! Look how the 

hands of light 
Reach up and lift the covering cowl of night 
From the blush-blinded eyes of Heaven! And she. 
Heart-woken and warm-footed o'er the sea, 
Her face a fountain of desires long stored, 
Goes kindling to the arms of her great lord ! 
And lo! he comes rejoicing, and flings gold, 
Till all the earth is with his joy enrolled; 
And every life a mote in his glad beams 
Melts forth to meet him, and where'er light 

streams 
Dance till it drowns ! Ah, look ! The sun, the sun ! 

[Knocking. 
Shall we go, Meemee? 



82 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Mee. Yes! I go! I run! 

[They run off^ holding hands and laugh- 
ing. 

Voice {within). Look here, Newlyn, I say! 
She's locked us in. Go round the other way. 

[53; the stairs Students and Bearers 
come running just as the door falls, 
broken from its hinges. 

Students. Oh, boobies subHme! 
She was here all the time ! 
She was hiding in here; 
And it didn't occur 
To anyone's mind 
That we'd left her behind! 

Teep. Oh, muddleheads, fuddleheads, go and 
kow-tow, 
To the cunning of woman! 

Students. She isn't here now! 

Naut. Oh, but I say ! 

Lilong. D'you think she's run? 

New. If she has — we're done\ 

All. We shall get no pay! 

\^Enter Mr. and Mrs. Olangtsi. 

Mrs. O. What's all this about? Who's done 
that? 

[Seeing broken door. 

Lilong. That was Meemee; she fought like a 

cat! 
Nezv. With the kick of her heels she smashed 

the door. 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 83 

Teep. She threw the palanquin down on the 

floor. 
Hiti, She rent to . rags her bridal array ! 
Hank, She took off her crown and she threw it 

away ! 
Lilong, Her hair stood up like a cheveux-de- 

f rise ! 
A^atit. She knocked us head over heels with 

ease! 
Nezv, She pulled our pigtails, tore our clothes! 
Pee. Her mouth was full of horrible oaths ! 
Teep. She deafened our ears with dreadful cries ! 
Hank. She bit off our buttons and scratched our 

eyes ! 
Hiti. She trod on our toes; she wrenched our 

thumbs ! 
Naiit. She beat our bodies about like drums. 
Teep, Hank, Hiti, Lilong, Pee-ah {all together). 
And then, 'tis a story that needs no heightening. 
And then, having given us such a frightening. 
And then, with her witchlike eyes all whitening. 
And then, in a flash with raiment brightening. 
And then, on our heart with terror tightening, 
All. She vanished away like a flash of lightning! 
Mrs. O. Pah! w^here is she? 

[They grovel as Mrs. Olangtsi advances 
on them ivith threatening gesture. 

Students. She. . . . Oh, she locked us in! It 
wasn't fair! Now^ was it? It w^asn't what we'd 
expected. We don't know where she is! We 
haven't seen her! 

[Enter running Josi and Cosi Mosi. 



84 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Josi, Where'sh Meemee? 

Mrs, 0. That's what / want to know. 

[HiTi-TiTi picks up poison vial still un- 
opened, 

Hiti. What's this? 

Josi (to Cosi). Ah, she'sh not done it! 
Mrs. O, Done what? 

Josi, She wash going to poishon hershelf, you 
shilly woman! 

Cosi, What's all dis mean? {Points to bridal 
preparations. Enter Yunglangtsi, gorgeously ar- 
rayed as a bridegroom.) Where'sh my shecurity? 
{Furiously,) You were going to rob me, were 
you ? You were going to steal a march on me ! 

Hank. Yes, a wedding march! 

[Pointing to Yunglangtsi. 

Cosi, My money! My money! Give me my 
money, or I sell you! 

Mrs, O, You shan't have your money! You've 
stolen the girl yourself — you know you have! 

Olang, Yes, they have stolen her! I can see it 
in their faces! Thieves! Thieves! 

Mrs, O. They've taken her! 

Cosi. I have not ! 

Mrs. O. She was here ten minutes ago! 

Cosi {losing all control). AnA if I had taken 
her — I had a right to take her! She was my prop- 
erty ! Yes, yes ! What right had you to be marry- 
ing her to anyone ? Dat was shtealing, dat was ! 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 85 

Mrs. 0. You should have thought of that be- 
fore! 

Cost, ril sell you! I'll sell you still! Dere's 
de picture and the furniture! 

[At the word '' picture '' Olangtsi shozvs 
perturbation; at the word '' furni- 
ture '' Mrs. Olangtsi. 

Olang. No, no! You mustn't take the picture! 
That's mine. Give me time and Fll pay! 

Cosi. Time? Time? Fll show you what time 
is! Here — you dere outside — in wid you! {Enter 
Bailiffs.) You see dat man? Well, he is a 
signed-on bankrupt ; he is on contract to be sold ! 

Olang. You cannot! 

Cosi. Oh, yes! Dis says ''on demand.'' (He 
shozvs document.) Where is de gel? 

Mrs. O.. You've taken her! 

Cosi. You do not deliver her — den I sell you! 

Yung, {zvho has been wandering heavy and in- 
different from group to group, lights on his cer- 
tificate zmth a cry of rapture). Ah! {All turn as- 
tonished). Oh, my — my beautiful certificate! 
Mother! My certificate has come back again! 

Olang. Ah, Tikipu has been here! He has come 
back to rob me! Where is Tikipu? 

Cosi. Dere's de warrant to date. {To Bail- 
iffs.) Clear them out! Go and call de folk in 
from de street! 

[Bailiffs enter house. One goes into 
the street zvith gong and clappers. 



86 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Yung, Oh, mother ! Now I needn't marry Mee- 
mee at all, need I? Now I can be a grocer again? 
Oh! 

IHe weeps for joy, and sits fondling the 
certificate, 

Olang, You lout, you! You dreg, you sedi- 
ment! Get up! 

[Kicks him. Yunglangtsi stays lost in 
the rapture of his discovery. In the 
street the crier is heard crying the 
sale. Students crowd round Mr. 
and Mrs. Olangtsi, holding out 
their hands to be paid. They follozv 
them about, 

Cosi, Josi, you know how to sell pictures at 
auction ? 

Josi. Shell dem? Dat depends. 

Cosi, On de picture? 

Josi. No; on what you pay me. At ten per 
shent I can shell pictures handsomely. 

Cosi. Give you five. 

Josi. Make it^ 

Cosi. Five. 

[Turns away from him. 

Josi. Very well. Give me the warrant. I shall 
shell it less handsomely, dat'sh all! . . . Yesh, 
dish shale is going to be an alarming sacrifice, 
Coshi. . . . Five per shent! 

Crier {nearer again). A sale! A sale! A sale! 

Josi. Yesh! A shale! Cry it louder! . . . 
Great shale of pictures, old furniture, and rattle- 
traps! Change of business! Amazing bargains! 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 87 

Alarming reductions! Heartrending sacrifice — at 
five per shent! Walk up, walk up, and shee de 
great shale dat is about to commence! 

IDuring this the Bailiffs are carrying 
out the furniture, Mrs. Olangtsi 
falls upon them and beats them; she 
is hustled back, only to return to the 
charge, Yunglangtsi sits absorbed 
in the joy of his recovered certificate. 
Townsfolk crowd in to a final flour- 
ish of the gong, 

Cosi, Now den, Josi, begin. 

Josi, Lot Number i. Dis is a picture, gentlemen; 
some of you may not know it, but it is a picture. 
. . . It is a celebrated picture; you might not dink 
so, but it is celebrated. ... It is a picture wid a 
shtory attached to it; dat makes it an intereshting 
picture. {Interruption.) What did de gentleman 
shay? . . . Quite right; noding else would. As 
dish is a warrant shale to shatisfy an order of 
claims, it ish not my business to shay anything 
more dan de truth. It ish my own broder I am 
shelling dish picture for. {Consternation of Cosi.) 
Dat'sh why I only take five per shent commission ; 
my usual charge ish ten. Yesh, Cosi, Fm your 
brother; Tve got a shabby coat, but you've got a 
shabby shoul! 

[Uproarious amusement among the Stu- 
dents at Josi's revelation of relation- 
ship, Cosi becomes the butt of jeers 
and laughter, 

Cosi, You give me back dat warrant! 



88 THE CHINESE LANTERN 

Josi. Not for ten per shent, brother Coshi! 
All. Broder Coshi! 

Cosi. Ah, you shall pay for this! You see! 
Here, let me go! 

[Unable to endure the ridicule and ex- 
posure he slinks off. 

Jo si {raises his voice in victorious derision). 
Going — going — at five per shent ! Dat'sh right. 
Now, den, business! Any offer? . . . Don't be in 
a hurry, gentlemen . . . take your time! De pic- 
ture is not going to run away ; you can examine it, 
gentlemen, and shee dat dere is no deception. If 
dere ever wash any deception it was three hundred 
years ago when de man who painted it ran away 
from his creditors and pretended dat he had gone 
into de picture. Dere'sh de shtory for you — all 
complete. . . . Well? What offer? Won't any- 
body make any offer? 

[Olangtsi pushes forward to hid. Stu- 
dents surround him and hold out 
their hands demanding money. 

Crier (zvithout). Only ten sen! Only ten sen! 
Any buy ? 

Josi. Ten sen ? Somebody offers ten sen. I 
presume dat he means ten yen? We'll call it ten 
yen; de picture's worth it. 

Crier (zvithout). Only ten sen! Only ten sen! 

Josi. Very well, ten sen! Going at ten sen! 
Going — at . . . ten . . . sen! A picture dat ish 
dree hundred years old and still going strong! 
Now! Now is your chance! Dis will not happen 
again ! 



THE CHINESE LANTERN 89 

Olang, Ah! ah! ah! 

[At the word ''going'' the picture comes 
dimly to life. In a veiled indistinct- 
ness WiowANi is seen seated ivithin 
it. Olangtsi sees, and lifts his 
hands and wails despairingly. The 
crowd stares, stolidly amazed. 

Voice {without). Only ten sen! Only ten sen! 

Josi. Well ? . . . What for you shtaring at me ? 
/ am not de picture ! Dere is de picture : a beautiful 
picture dat shpeaks for itshelf ! A real picture, wid 
a shtory in it dat may always come true. What? 
Will nobody give any more? Very well. At ten 
sen! — for dish time only — agoing at ten sen! Go- 
ing, going. . . . {He turns.) Gone! 

[The picture vanishes. 



CURTAIN 



\m 16 1308 



